Recent Blogs Posts

[B][COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]“I….uh... I thought it would be...hot.” I stammered.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]He looked up at my face, “Hot? How? Explain it to me?”[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]I just looked at him, then down at my not-going-down teenage cock, “I...well, I don’t get laid a lot. And I’m kinda..well, I’m into girls and guys...and I’ve swallowed cum a few times..”[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]He cut me off, “You didn’t...you didn’t like, eat any of that…”[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]“OH! No...no...I just thought it would be hot to rub it around on my dick. Jack off with it.” I probably blushed even further. It felt that way.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]“OK...I mean, I’ve heard about people doing that...that condom’s been in the trash since last night, I don’t know what the overnight value of jizz is, I just wanted to make sure you weren’t doing anything dangerous.” He smiled, “So, how does it feel?”[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]I kinda cocked my head to the side, “What...what do you mean?”[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]“Well, you thought it would be hot to rub it around on your dick, is it? Is it hot to rub around in?” He asked.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]I looked down. Nope, still hard. “Actually, I’ve kept myself from cumming a few times already. I didn’t want to waste it. It feels really good.”[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]He glanced back down at my crotch, “You know, I’ve used condoms just about every way you can imagine...never tried jacking off with a used one before. That one’s new to me.” He pushed the towels over slightly, and when he did I noticed he was hard, and trying to hide it.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]“So...are you going to finish and shower? You’re wasting a lot of hot water.” He stood up, adjusted himself and walked out.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]I don’t know if it was the anxiety or the adrenalin, but I couldn’t finish jacking myself. Maybe it was because I’d edged too many times, who knows. Somewhat reluctantly, I pulled the condom back off and threw it in the trash. The cum that had been inside left my head glistening.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]The shower done, I used one of the towels Mike had brought in, dried myself thoroughly and sat on the small bench, anxious about how the little discussion had gone.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]I walked out of the bathroom, down the hallway to the stairs. The path took me by the open door of Mike’s study.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]“Hey, bud” his voice came from the room, “stop in here real quick.”[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]My heart fell. I didn’t know what he’d say, but I was pretty sure it’d be mortifying.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]His study was a large room that had two large windows and a patio door, leading out to one of two balconies on the third floor. It was furnished with an antique chaise, a desk that was too large to be a reading desk, but too small to be an office desk, several bookcases and an original Bob Ross..which didn’t occur to me at the time to be cool.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]He was sitting in the large, leather desk chair behind the desk. He was nude, facing a TV that was playing a gay porno. This wasn’t what I was expecting.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]“Sit down. On the chaise.” He pointed. Both of the seats in the room faced the TV.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]The action on the screen was your run-of-the-mill 80’s gay porn. Hairy guy 1 with mustache was sucking off hairy guy 2 with mustache. They were enjoying it.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]“So,” Mike continued speaking, his deep timbre trailing off at the end of the vowel, “You said you’ve swallowed cum before. How’d that go?”[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]I explained to him the night I lost my virginity to a man, then about the one kid at school the few times we’d done things, then the one guy at the college I was attending. [/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]From where I sat, I couldn’t see his hand on his equipment, just the slow motion of his arm and shoulder. The desk itself was covered on 2 sides...I had briefly seen underneath the desk on my way in.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]He pondered while he watched the movie and slowly moved his arm before he spoke again, “Well, I’d appreciate you not using used condoms to jack off anymore, OK?”[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]After our brief talk, I was sure I’d not be doing that again, “You’ve got it, Mike.” I answered him. Despite the topic of the chat and the environment, my dick was waking up to the movie.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]He continued, “If you really want to get off, come on up here, turn on one of the movies in that cabinet down there, jack off.” He swiveled towards me, “If you want to eat cum, however, we can arrange that too.”[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]Standing up, he walked towards me. Mike was a hair under 6’ tall, at least 200 lbs. His hair was well gone to silver, well, other than his body, which was still mostly brown. [/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]I had my first good view of his cock, however. It wasn’t that it was big or small, wide or thin. Think, in your head, about every porno you’ve ever seen. Every picture of every penis. Now think of the circumcised ones. Average them all together, and that’s Mike’s.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]A hair under 7”, as wide as both of your thumbs. The shaft was a few shades lighter, and a shade or two pinker than the skin surrounding it, the head a shade or two darker purple than that. A neat, well done circumcision scar circled it an inch, maybe a bit more down from the shelf of his frenulum. His whole groin was trimmed down to a close stubble, and his scrotum, tight against his body now, was the same color as his shaft, wrinkled like the fruit of a walnut.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]He stopped when he was about a foot away, “You’re a young guy, Joe. Certain rules are going to have to apply” he stroked, slowly, purposefully, “I can’t go after you, actively...you have to come to me, I’m sure it’s illegal no matter what, but I do a lot of illegal shit, and you’re old enough.”[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]I looked up at him, wondering what he meant, what he wanted me to do.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]“So, if you want to eat this cum, you have to put your mouth over the end of my dick. Do you understand? I can’t tell you to do it, you have to do it on your own.” Previously, he’d been stroking from his base until his hand went over his head. Now, he stroked the 4” closest to his body, the engorged head completely clear.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]I turned on the chaise, lifted myself up and started to put my mouth over his head. “Ah ah…” he said, pulling away, “Today, we’re eating cum. We are NOT sucking cock. Keep your mouth open, right there.”[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]The view must have been something like a baby bird waiting for dinner. Mike wasn’t watching the movie, he was looking down at my face, “Tell me, do you want it? I need to know that you want it.”[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]“I want it.” I said, then opened my mouth back up.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]“Then here it is.” he said calmly. A split second later, as I stared at his slit, it opened and a huge, creamy dollop landed on my tongue, followed by another, then a third, then a dozen or so more.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]When he’d squeezed the last drop or two out of himself, he wiped the tip on my upper lip, “OK, swallow.”[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]I did. I could fully taste it now that he’d finished, and his creamy texture was only the tip of the iceberg, it was salty, of course, and as it coated my tongue and throat, there was a sweet undertaste. It was excellent.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]He leaned back against the edge of his desk, placing his hands to either side of his butt, “So, let’s talk a bit deeper, shall we?” He stretched, “How much have you done with guys?”[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]I swallowed a few more times, “Well, I’ve sucked a few guys off, and I’ve been fucked once.”[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]“Once, huh?” He smiled, “Continue…”[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]“Not much more,” I felt kind of pathetic, “Just a few times.”[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]He looked straight at me, “Sounds like you need practice.” [/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]And thus started my education. I spent the next 2 years living with Mike 10 months out of the year, during those times, I would go to graduate Magna Cum Laude. However, the talents and skills I learned with Mike are almost as valuable, as they’ve satisfied many a partner since..[/FONT][/COLOR]
[SIZE=3]
If you're even [B]slightly interested in having me continue, let me know and I will.[/B][/SIZE][/B]

[B][COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]I figured I'd better start with an introduction..."Hello, I'm Joe, and I'm bi."[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial](Murmured "Hello, Joe" from the uninterested crowd)[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]As someone here might note, my screen name is 'blatant_bi_guy'. That's who/how I am. What that means to me isn't that I drift around with a constant air of bisexuality, what it means is that I'm never afraid to hide it. If I'm asked by anyone, whether it be a complete stranger or a potential boss, I'll tell them straight out.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]But first I'd say, "It's none of your business".[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]I hear an awful lot about bisexual erasure now and again. I hear an awful lot about how, in general, the public is less accepting about bisexuals now more than ever...men more than women.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]What bothers me about the whole thing is the necessity for exposure. A comedian (I forget which...may have been the Onion) mentioned that a recent gay pride parade pushed gay acceptance back 20 years. I get this feeling that a lot of that is part of the issue here. When the topic of my sexuality comes up with someone who doesn't know how I'm wired to begin with, I first assess how worthwhile it will be for that person to know. What are they going to use that information for? Most of the time, it comes with a judgement call.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]I knew back when I was about 12 years old I saw things a bit different than the other boys. I was taught that Y is attracted to X, and X to Y, and that's how it is. Being in Western South Dakota didn't help much either...the culture there was either religious or bigot, or a combination thereof. I knew I liked boys and girls before I even knew that there was a word for it. And when I first heard the definition, it felt like it fit...better, it felt like I wasn't the only one in the world. The first person I told was my best friend at the time (we were 14), a girl. [/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]Well, it went all over the school in about 20 seconds. Insults, slurs...even if I DID like girls, the whole 'faggot' term got thrown around like mad. Granted, it was just the kids that were doing it...back then, it was sort of...against the rules to bring adults in. [/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]The first few years were mortifying. I endured a few hellish months, but then it blew over. Yeah, I'd let it bother me...a lot. But even these closed-minded folks really didn't care after the initial shock. When it was over, guys would give me shit in the locker rooms, girls would give me shit about the guys, but it was more of a dig at someone rather than kids being vicious...they'd got the viciousness out of their systems.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]But through all that, I didn't ever deny it. I just accepted that this was what came with the territory...some folks are just too narrow-minded.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]I went away to school when I was 15, bound and determined to be closeted. I felt like that was what most men did, kept it bottled up. Until I met Mike.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]He was the man who owned the rooming house I stayed in, a big, beautiful Queen Anne. One night, coming home from a late cramming session, I caught him screwing a male grad student from the college we both attended (yeah, I started college at 15). [/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]I’d had my suspicions from the moment I met him, but watching him rail the grad student on a chaise in his “Music Room” kind of put the last nail in the thought. They hadn’t seen me walk by (the frosted-glass french doors were behind them) but to this day, the vision is squarely in my mind.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]Nothing much else happened for a week or two. One Saturday night, just after finals, things changed.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]I’d been trying to build up the courage to ask him something...anything, really. Not even sexual. It just fascinated me that I’d gone from just seeing him as an older gentleman to seeing him as something sexual, and that fascination scared me.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]This particular Saturday, there had been a 5k marathon on campus, and I’d participated with gusto. I knew, being 15 that there wasn’t a single girl on campus that found me in the least bit noticeable, so I’d just done it to participate in something. My age kept me from any physical extracurricular, and I didn’t have many friends.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]I came back to the house, ready to take a shower and sluice the grime off myself. However, the communal bathroom on the 2nd floor was locked, with the shower already running. One of the other housemates, an undergrad named Len’s voice said, “Occupied!”.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]I went back downstairs, to find Mike in the kitchen. I stood there, in my shorts, t-shirt and sweat and made small talk with him for a little while, again, still fascinated in my mind by the view of his thick, hairy legs and butt with it’s back-and-forth movement.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]“You can use the shower on the 3rd floor, if you want.” He said, “There’s a water heater for every floor, so Len won’t use all the water.”[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]Following that advice, I went into my room and grabbed some clothes, my shower bag and headed upstairs. I’d only been up to the floor he took as his own once, to drop off three month’s rent.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]His bathroom was almost twice as large as the one on the first floor, a large clawfoot tub in one corner, a shower stall in the other, with a toilet and vanity on the facing wall. [/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]I sat my clothes down on the sink, and in doing so, saw something down in the trash. [/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]Reaching down, I pulled it out, gingerly, and laid it on the sink. It was a condom. [/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]The lubricant outside was still slick. Inside, a huge amount (to my inexperienced eyes) of viscous semen lay near the tip, but trickled slowly towards the small amount of still-rolled latex at the end.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]In 1987, for a 15 year old, there wasn’t a lot of pornographic outlets. No internet. No big brothers to get me skin mags or vhs tapes. My only material at that point was a Hustler from ‘85, that I’d almost rubbed ink off I went through it so often.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]So the evidence of sex, of actual sex, here in front of me, made me instantaneously rock hard. I had a filthy idea, and decided I was going to jerk off using that thought.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]I walked over to the shower with the condom in hand and turned on the water. Standing outside the door, I pulled the latex over my dick, pulling it down until the semen inside was surrounding my head.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]And then I started to rub. The slickness of the condom and cum was exhilarating. I’d had a few sexual experiences before, but my ignorance of the basics, lack of regular outlets and without anywhere to actually buy any without intense scrutiny led to not using them.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]The whole sensation was new, and new usually meant that I was ready to pop in a second. This time I edged myself close, then backed off. Edged, then backed off.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]I wasn’t sure what my next opportunity to feel this would be, and I wanted to relish it. Which was probably my mistake. I should have wanted to get off.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]The door to the shower was angled in such a way that all the noise from inside went directly into your head, and was within sight of the door to the bathroom. Which was why I didn’t hear the door open.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]I have no idea how long he was standing there. Later, he would say, “Oh, a few minutes.” All I heard was someone clearing his throat.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]My body twisted toward the shower. My head glared at the door.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]Mike was standing there with several towels. He was looking me straight in the eye with an, “I caught you” grin on his face, “What’re you up to, bud?”[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]It was probable that my entire body was one big red embarrassment. But my hand was still on my dick, my dick was still in someone else’s cum-filled condom, and it was still painfully hard.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]Mike walked over to a low bench that sat between the clawfoot tub and the shower, sat the towels down and looked down at my equipment. [/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]“Is that...is that the condom out of the trash?” He asked.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]“Why lie?” I thought to myself. At this point, he could just walk over there. “Yeah, it is.”[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]He shook his head, “What would possess you to put on my condom?”[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000]...Go to Part II[/COLOR][SIZE=3][/SIZE]
[/B]

Ever since I was 10 years old and first heard the doctors whisper about how bad my lungs looked on x-ray I knew there would be issues. They warned me it would affect me when I got older. When you are 10 you think old is 80… I was in my 30’s when problems started to develop. Couldn’t exert myself without stopping to do some pursed lip breathing to try and oxygenate, problem was exertion wasn’t walking across town or up a flight of stairs.. Some morning’s exertion was rolling over and sitting up in bed.
Cold weather affected me greatly, coughing til I threw up a lot of times. I went to countless doctors and pulmonologists and had pulmonary rehab and a wedge resection to biopsy. This little fungus called histoplasmosis really did a number on me. It led to countless bronchitis and pneumonia and in the end pulmonary fibrosing in my lungs.

For the past year and half I have struggled with severe edema in my feet and legs. They do not know the cause. They increased my meds to the point I am taking 160 mg of Lasix and 100 mg of Aldactone every day, it’s dangerous as it depletes other minerals and leaves me with severe cramps at times.

I was on steroids for almost a year and gained 100 pounds, I have lost 60 of them but the last 40 is stubborn and seems to be the fluid that I just can’t quite get rid of. It’s not unusual for my weight to fluctuate by 15 pounds from day to day due to the fluid I produce. I’m restricted to 1.5 liters of fluid a day and it doesn’t help.
My last doctor appointment the pulmonologist looked me right in the eye and told me I was dying. He ordered a sleep study and I had that done, they woke me three times to check if the pulse oximeter was working then they stuck me on oxygen.
I have a vascular ultrasound tomorrow of my legs and I have been ordered to do a PT/INT to check clot time for a baseline on Coumadin again.

All in all it’s been pretty distressing week. I have high hopes that they make actually figure something and start reversing things because I really want to prove my doctor wrong. After all they told me at 10 I was terminal and I’m now 42. So I have a decent track record of confounding them.

Things are getting better. Little by little, I keep peeking a little further out of my shell to see what's around me. I owe this in particular to my friend A. She was in a musical a few months ago at the local Playhouse. They needed someone to work the curtain, pull the drops and move scenery. Somehow, a few months later I'm about to make my stage debut as Moose in 'Crazy for You'! For the life of me I never thought I would be any good at singing and dancing.

Before my theatre adventure I was depressed, sleeping too much, smoking way too much herb and just being a bum in general. Also, I got a really nice bicycle for my 30th birthday. I blew the engine on my pickup truck about a year and a half ago, so I'm thrilled that I don't have to necessarily take the bus everywhere I go. Granted, my current lifestyle is not without it's limitations. I can only get what I can carry in one shot shopping. Also, people drive like fucking maniacs in FL and I've very narrowly avoided getting run over a few times.

Aside from that, my life is full of blessings, from my little tuxedo cat to my fiancee who I've known since high school.

La vie est belle. I knew one day I'd be able to not only say it but mean it as well :suave: