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I was reading about a bisexual man writing about his wife who wants a female lover. The wife decided that she was bisexual and had become involved with another married woman. After he thought about it for a few days, he realized that his wife loved him. He wanted her to have what will make her happy. He trusted her to find a balance to give them both attention. Interestingly, the wife was not comfortable with him having a male lover.

A person may take various aspects and perspectives when it comes to love. Love is an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment. Attachment may be both constructive and beneficial if it doesn't become obsessive and possessive about the personal attachment. Some people have a concept that love means exclusiveness sexually (monogamy) while others do not. Monogamy is a partnership and some argue has little to do with love when the attachment becomes possessive. When a person wants to be sexually exclusive is that love or possessiveness and jealousy?

Jealousy is possessiveness. Both relate to ownership and manifesting a desire to control or dominate another. This is most negative and especially if it is inorder to limit a person's relationship with others. Some permit platonic relationships with others and some develop jealousy and possessiveness of even platonic relationships. Fewer tolerate and are comfortable with sexual relationships with others which may lead to conflict for some bisexuals.

Jealousy is an emotion that refers to negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, particularly in reference to a human connection. Jealousy often consists of a combination of presenting emotions such as anger, resentment, inadequacy, helplessness and disgust. Jealousy implies a triad composed of a jealous individual, a partner, and a perception of a third party or rival. Jealous reactions typically involve aversive emotions( disgust etc.) and/or behaviors that are assumed to be protective for their attachment relationships instead of perceiving the triad as beneficial to the happiness of the loved one.

Jealousy may be: a/ sexual or b/ emotional/ romantic. Romantic jealousy is the most complex of the two forms and it is a result of a threat to the self esteem of the jealous person. Romantic jealousy arouses the strongest emotional reaction. Jealousy is often reinforced as a series of particularly strong emotions and constructed as a universal human experience that may seek to privileged monogamous discourses.

Sexual jealousy may be defined as a response triggered when a significant other displays sexual interest in another person. Romantic jealousy is a complex of thoughts, feelings, and actions which follow threats to self esteem. One partner can feel the emotion of jealousy arise if the other partner is paying more attention or time with someone else. The man above was correct in stating that his wife would have balance the attention that she might give to both him and her female lover if they were to be comfortable.

Schachner & Shaer (2004) report that there are no sex difference in expression of childhood attachments and jealousy but certain adults experience jealousy as a more harmful coping mechanism than others. Jealousy plays a role in sexual attachment for some adults. Schnachner & Shaer state that emotional jealousy was found to be nine times more responsive in females than in males.

The "Love Style" of the person experiencing jealousy and possessiveness becomes a significant factor. The man above had a love style that differed from his female partner.

Love songs, love stories are created to reinforce the concept that love is an exclusionary behaviour but this construct is usually created by monosexuals and not bisexuals. We do read or hear of stories of sacrifice and love. If a person loves you they should put their own happiness aside to "prove" their love for you is quite a different approach than the husband above. In fact, he was bisexual himself and obviously revealed this to his bisexual wife thinking that they both might show their love by offering what may make each happy. In that respect, some may argue that he was not really sacrificing. He was as she wanted the freedom but refused to grant him the same. Why should you have to sacrifice your freedom on the guise of love if your partner is interested in your happiness? It seems like a Catch 22.