All Blog Entries

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I know the truth. I've seen it; I'm living it. Men have sex with men. We suck each other's dicks and consume sperm; we fuck each other in the ass. It's the way it has always been and as hard as society has been trying to stop this, it continues to fail; it failed to eradicate homosexuality and it will fail in its attempts to eradicate bisexuality in both men and women. The good thing is that more and more men and women are just going for what they know in this and the bad thing is there are still many men and women who are, bluntly, just too afraid to go for what they know.

I understand it. Fifty-six years has allowed me to see how things have changed and how it's gone from being fairly easy to get some dick to being rather difficult. Guys are... picky about it. Yeah, I said it and I stand by it. They have their reasons for it and I understand them... but anything that prevents a guy from getting the dick they know they want, well, it doesn't make sense, does it? If anything, guys should be trying to make it easier to get the dick they want and need... and they're not doing that; they think that by making it easier, they're being riskier and maybe even careless and the only thing I can say about that is that for 56 years and counting, I have [B]never[/B] gotten an STD having sex with a guy or a woman for that matter. Why?

Because while I very well may be a seriously horny motherfucker, I'm not stupid. Being in the game early taught me not to let my dick think for me because I got to see what happens to some guys when they think with their dick. I'm smarter than that. I have, I'm sure, sucked more dick and been fucked by more guys than most women I know... and without anything bad happening other than maybe kicking my own ass over getting with a guy and he turned out to be the kind of asshole I want no truck with - but you can't undo it once it's done and I'm very real with myself to know that it wasn't bad until I started thinking it was bad.

These are the things I've learned in well over a half-century of being male and bisexual. I know some... shit about this because I've done it and I've made it my life-long business to know all there is to know about it and not just for myself but for anyone else I may come in contact with. I've spent the last few years sharing what I've learned and knowing that it might help someone... or it might be summarily dismissed and to that end, well, it will never be said that I didn't try to pass along what I've learned. It is a part of the legacy that I will leave behind some day and it's just me but I feel a sense of... responsibility to tell anyone who cares to listen that being bisexual isn't as bad as you think it is, that is really is normal and natural and, yes, that whatever you've been told or believe to the contrary is a lie. It's misinformation and presented by societies and cultures who would prefer that you don't know the truth of any of this.

It's not just my opinion but it is the facts as I have learned them both the easy and hard ways and, duh, I've been learning for a very long time. I know that the things that matter to a lot of guys really doesn't matter; age doesn't matter. Appearance doesn't matter. Cock size doesn't matter. Relationships don't matter and aren't really necessary and neither is dating. Gender doesn't really mean a damned thing when you know the truth of this. What does matter - what always should matter - is whether or not this is the way you want and need when it comes to being intimate with someone. Desire matters. Do you wanna do things like this? Are you really okay with not doing things the way you need to do them? This and many more things are, in truth, the only things that really matters when a guy knows that having sex with another guy is what he needs to do.

Doesn't matter how you do it and, like it or not, guys do it because, um, they like doing it. They find out for themselves what they like about it. They accept it. They're okay with it even if no one else is because it's really harmful to themselves not to be okay with it or to continue to suppress themselves. But, again, I know why some men feel that they have no other choice but to not be the way they want to be and I respect that and I'd never try to change someone's mind about that... but I know what you're missing and I'm truly sorry that you're missing out on something... wonderful. You don't need to be into a guy to have sex with him - you just gotta like him enough to want to have sex with him. Is the devil you know safer than the one you don't know?

Not really because, um, do you really know where his dick has been when it's not with you? And if you think you do, can you really believe him? Think about that one for a moment and believe that, a long time ago now, I had reason to think about this because if I don't know anything else, I know men and I do know that they will do and say anything to get you naked and in bed with them -by any means fair or foul. It make me... wary but I remain unafraid. I'm smart enough to know that I don't have to if I don't want to and that if I even get the slightest whiff of something not being right, nothing is going to happen and good luck trying to convince me otherwise... because I've had 56 years to know better. Not all guys are assholes but I know they exist just the same and I know how to deal with them.

That very first time? Seems like it was just "yesterday" when that man slide the head of his dick into my mouth and I got hooked on it and the hook got sunk deeper to taste his sperm and deeper still when he fucked against my hole and made it messy. I knew then, 56 years ago, that it doesn't get any better than to have sex this way as well as with girls. I'm okay with the word "bisexual" because that's what I am. I don't fool myself about it and I don't fuss over whether it the label applies to me or even should... because it does. It has for 56 years.

I don't buy into the hype or bullshit being thrown around today because I know and understand the truth of it all and, yeah, in a way that most people just can't learn it... or want to be bothered to learn it. I am what I've always been over all this time:

Bisexual.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]For 56 years, I've known - and have known very well - what a lot of men are just now finding out about this. Some were kinda/sorta like me in that they found out early and, yes, even when the dreaded "I" word was in play. Some are, as I like to say, late to the party and some are just now returning to the party after being absent. And, sadly, there are many more men who are sitting on the sidelines and doing nothing when, really, they want and need to.

It breaks my heart to see so many men not doing what they know they want and need to do. It's not that I don't understand why they aren't - I do understand it all too well... but I also understand that if it's something you [B]really[/B] want to do, you will always find a way to do it and by any means necessary... and, yes: Even if they have to cheat on a partner in order to do it. I see how men have become very risk-adverse; not without reason, of course, but about things that, if they really put their minds to it, those risks can be avoided and/or lessened. I've seen the fear that consumes people in this, some of it real but a lot of it imagined; I've seen so many men and women just assume the worst and living in such great fear, not so much for their own health but because of what someone else is going to say or think about them.

And I know this because I used to be like that, too, until I got around to realizing that I was being fearful of something that, really, I shouldn't be. I've lost friends because of what I am; I've been criticized and ridiculed for being the way I am... but I cannot ever stop being the way I am and I'm sure as fuck not gonna stop being the way I am because of what someone else has to say about it - and someone who, I've learned over these 56 years, really doesn't know what the fuck they're talking about and more so when they believe in the lie that is our morality... and it is a lie and one of omission if nothing else.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I know what sex really is and how it can be and I also know about love, too, and that there's the way it's supposed to be... and then there's the way it, too, can be. Being madly in love with another guy was one hell of a life-changing experience, too; it was supposed to be impossible but it really isn't because love, all by itself, doesn't give a fuck about shit like who you're supposed to only be in love with... but people do and I've learned that people are made to love in one way only and with many exceptions and difference that, when you really get down to it, doesn't make much of a difference.

Or, if you don't mind, it never matters - but it does to everyone else who can't or just won't see these things for what they really are: Being human. Being alive. I understand the rules; I know why they exist because I've spent 56 years making it my business to know because of that one question I asked myself so very long ago: How can something that's supposed to be so bad feel so good?

Because it's supposed to feel good but, nah, it didn't take me 56 years to figure that out; it actually took me about two years to figure it out and, um, right in the middle of one of my friends fucking me and putting a load of cum in my ass... and became clearer as I was doing the same thing to him. And didn't it feel right, normal, and natural? Yes, yes, a thousand times yes... because it really is. I just had - have - the advantage of figuring this out a long time ago and at a time when homosexuals were the most reviled people on the planet... but I've known all along that I might be a lot of things... but I'm not homosexual because, lest it be forgotten, I do love me some pussy and the crazy, insane women its attached to.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I've spent 56 years not only having sex this way, I've also done my best to help others understand this. Sometimes it has been by having sex with them, to show them that what they believe is wrong and nasty is anything but wrong or nasty... and sometimes it's been by just telling them what I've learned over all of this time. I've been successful... and not so much at times because if I haven't learned anything else, I've learned that while anyone has the [I]potential[/I] to be bisexual, not everyone can actually be bisexual, accept it, and revel in it and as I've learned to do.

If there's a way for two guys to have sex, I've probably done it and if I haven't done it, I probably know about it - and if it's something I haven't actually done, it's because I didn't want or need to because, after all, there are some things I just won't do. I've experienced this in ways that, frankly, makes people feel some kind of way, up to and including the very scary "I" word and I've learned that as... bad as that is, it's always been the way a lot of people find out about sex. To that end, acting like it never happens or otherwise turning away and feeling disgusted only serves to hide, ignore, and deny the truth of things...

And the truth is you can have amazing sex with anyone who's willing to do it with you and the only thing that really matters is the intimacy of it and, really, being human. If there is one... regret, it's that I didn't find out about this before I did but I accept that there's a 9 year gap between my life as a bisexual and being alive - I turned 65 today and it just is what it turned out to be. I've actually been sexually active for 57 years and 57 years to the day because a girl who couldn't give me a present for my 8th birthday gave me a gift I've cherished ever since: She gave me her body. Taught me how to have sex with her. Put me directly on the path to find out that girls aren't the only people you can have sex with.

Best gift ever. To that end, I've spent all of those years thinking about how I got to where I am now and, yes - I was quite the whore about it. Anyone. Any place or time. Anything. I've spent all these years wondering if, by chance, I was some kind of fucked up in the head right out of the gate... and I really and honestly don't think that I was or that I am: I just found out about some shit and well before people usually find out about it. Found out about it. Ran like the wind with it and, again, without shame or regret.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[SIZE=3][FONT=verdana]It was actually in August, 1964, when I got my first experience with dick and the moment in time when my life would be changed forever. I've written here about that moment and how it all went down and without any shame or regret and, yes, if I could go back to that moment and do it over, I wouldn't change a thing.[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]I've spent 56 years thinking about the morality of it; 56 years digging into why humanity is the way it is about males having sex with other males and I've learned so much and continue to do so. I've spent 56 years sucking dick, swallowing sperm, getting it pumped into my ass and, of course, doing the same thing with other guys; I've been "used and abused" and I've even been raped by a guy although, yeah, I didn't like the way I stupidly fell into his trap but I had to admit that the sex, all by itself, was very good - but I still tried to kill him anyway.[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]I've spent 56 years finding out [/FONT][B]everything[/B][FONT=verdana] there is to find out about this; I've learned by doing and I've learned from others who, like me, discovered what sex can really be like and that it just isn't a thing to be done between men and women and as a singular way to do things. I've dived into the science of it; the psychology of it; I know stuff about this and I've seen and experienced the reality of it. I've experienced the joy of it and I've experienced the bad parts when it comes to being subjected to another man's lust. I know what society at large thinks about this and I know that what they think is wrong... and it's always been wrong... and we aren't as smart or as enlightened as we believe ourselves to be.[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]I've spent 56 years always wondering if I've been doing the right thing for myself in this and, for 56 years, I keep coming up with the same answer: Yes. Unequivocally, undoubtedly, yes. Can't even imagine what it's like to not be the way I've been over all this time. And I've spent 56 years watching other people struggle with sex and sexuality... and I understand why they struggle.[/FONT][/SIZE]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I often think about the choices I've made over all these years. I don't regret any of them but I do acknowledge that I could have made better choices, you know, if I knew then what I know now but the fact remains is that I didn't know then what I know now and recognize that the best I could do - and the best I did - was to make the best choices I could with the information I had to work with.

Like introducing my son-in-law to cock sucking. I don't regret it one bit and I never will... but in that retrospective way, was it really the best choice to give him the experience he asked for? And then understanding that second-guessing myself really and truly serves no purpose since once it's done, it can never be undone. I could act like it never happened but I'm not a fan of lying to myself; if I can't be real with myself, I can't be real with anyone else.

Or caving in to my brother the way I did. Again, no regrets whatsoever about it but did I really make the best choice or made the choice for what could be considered the "wrong" reason - to get him to stop bothering the shit out of me about it? Or playing that silly "master/slave" game with my cousin which drove me crazy; did I really make the best possible choice by playing along or would the better choice have been telling him straight up that we can do this as long as we're not playing any game about it?

That and so many of the possible choices and their outcomes will never, ever be known... so I really don't do a lot of fretting over the choices I've made, nor will I give any future choices I may make too much weight. I'm either gonna get some dick... or I'm not going to and the choice not to may be a good one... or it might not be. The one and only choice that really remains is the one I made to get some dick and whenever I can and pretty much from whoever I can get it from and with as few caveats and conditions as I can manage to put in the way of being able to do this.

Because at the end of any day, this is all about me doing what I have to do in order to take care of my sexual needs and the choices are simple: Do... or do not... and then have no regrets no matter what choice I made. I choose to keep it simple: Be old enough to consent to sex; be clean and healthy enough to have sex; don't be the kind of guy I would rather punch in the face or otherwise be pissed off about or find reason not to like enough to want to have sex with you. For me, this is simple... but the choices other men make do tends to complicate the simplicity of my choices... and there's nothing I can do about that.

And nothing I want to do about that. I just wanna suck some cock, swallow some sperm, and be happy doing it and I'd be even happier if/when the other guy sucks my sperm out of me, too. Sometimes I wanna fuck and be fucked but that's... complicated and the way my life is calling for these days is for more simplicity than complications; I don't have the patience for all that "top/bottom" stuff or any of the other complicated stuff that only serves to make me lose out where my choice to be a voracious cock sucker is concerned. I can do it all and I have done it all... it's just that I choose not to do it all unless I want to. It's easier to convince a guy that us blowing each other is a fun thing to do... a bit more complicated to convince him that our efforts would be better served by poking each other in the ass and busting a nut that way.

I choose to make it easy for me to suck your dick... but I long since recognized and accepted that I can't do shit about the choices other men make for themselves. It's not my fault that a lot of guys make something as "simple" as a blow job harder than it has to be and if I were to have one wish in any of this, it would be for men to stop making the choices they do that makes, for me, sucking a dick a damned difficult thing to do.

And since that ain't gonna happen, all I can do is chalk it up to it being what it is... and choose to continue to make things easy for myself.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Once you decide or get around to getting a taste of dick, you obviously have some choices to make and beginning with the most important one: Are you gonna get some more of it? If the answer is, "Hell, yeah!" then there are more choices to be made and along the line, other changes tend to fall into place as one discovers what they like and what don't - and even if one has kinda/sorta already made up their mind about this before taking the plunge.

I think about the choices I've made in my life about this and, sure - sometimes I could have made better choices and I've made some "wrong" ones along the way as well as ones that were "perfect" for the moment the choices were made.

While we all tend to narrow down these things so that they can, hopefully, be made to fit better with the rest of our lifestyle, I don't know about anyone else but I tended to find out that some of the choices I made were going a long way to make sure that when I wanted dick, I wasn't going to get any... so why have them in the first place? You like what you like... and can't stand what you don't like and if nothing else, it makes us leery and even fearful and more so when we have a bad experience - and because of the choice we made - we always tend to assume that if that particular situation comes up again, it's going to be as bad as it was the first time... and the truth is there's no way for anyone to know that for a fact.

I learned to make this easy on myself. There are things I just will not do but everything else is negotiable or, as a lot of people like to say, I'll pretty much try anything once and do it again if I liked it the first time. Even growing up, I would watch my peers making choices that probably made sense to them but would often result in them not getting the dick they wanted or, sometimes and because of what someone else might have said, pass up on having sex with a guy and choosing not to find out for yourself if what was said was really true or not.

Even back in the day for me and for some of us, the choices we made that didn't result in having sex with a guy would usually turn out to be bad choices. The moment we started developing favorites, we were setting ourselves up to fail down the road and if not immediately so. If we got caught up in choosing to only have sex with those we favored, what we were really doing was passing up even more opportunities to have it.

The moment we choose to develop prejudices, we were pretty much fucking ourselves in the ass... and not in a good way.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]The smallest adult cock I've ever had was barely four inches hard; the biggest was a whopping thirteen measured inches. All kinds of dicks of differing shapes and sizes. I'd never turn down a guy because his dick was too small or too big... because it doesn't make any sense to me. Even if you don't get to fuck me with whatever sized dick you have, you can bet anything you care to that I will suck it. Smaller cocks are easier to suck and bigger ones, well, they're more challenging and nothing more than that.

What size dick do I prefer? Doesn't matter as long as it's clean, healthy, and it works - it gets hard and goes soft and, most important, you're gonna let me make hard and make it soft again. I even managed to get over my... angst about uncut dicks even though I still think they're ugly as fuck - no offense, uncut guys. I very much dislike the whole BBC thing because I know that all Black guys don't all have dicks dragging on the ground and I also know that those who do, well, let's say that I've found them lacking in both skill and finesse. I learned to despise people seeing me as being a BBC - then acting some kind of way because my dick doesn't hang down to my knees and how much this disappoints them. I have a dick. It works. I know how to use it. I want you to get me hard and make me soft again... and you're trying to tell me that because I don't have 10" hiding somewhere in my underwear that you can't - and won't - do that? That it's not what you prefer?

And this whole size thing can be directly responsible for a lot of guys who want some dick not getting any dick... and, I'm sorry, but that still doesn't make any sense to me. I have quite a few people who do ask me why some guys have such a hard time getting the dick they want and my response to them is, "Because they make this shit harder than it has to be and develop preferences which, at the end of the day, doesn't make that much of a difference when you get right down to it."

Even my protege has... size issues. On the one hand, he'll tell me that size doesn't matter but then some guy with a seriously big dick will send him a picture and a request for sex... and my protege will more often than not balk at accepting such a request and spend quite a bit of time riffing about how much that's gonna hurt going in his ass or how badly his jaws are gonna wind up aching trying to suck such a huge, fat cock. The funny part? This guy just loves Black men and the ones he tends to get with does, in fact, have big dicks. He prefers somewhat smaller dicks - about his size which is 7" or so. And I poke him about it by saying, "You do know you're passing up a lot of sex because you've got this size preference going on, don't you?"

I think he doesn't like it when I point that out to him. I tell him that the real trick of dealing with any dick of any size is to figure out how you can deal with it - and never try to do more than you're physically capable of handling. If the guy looking to fuck him has 11" inches, suck it the best way you can and if you want it in your ass, just relax, breathe, and take it in your ass and it's okay to tell him how much he's got in you that's causing you too much discomfort and pain... and even if he ain't gonna like you telling him about it.

Endowed. You either are you aren't. It shouldn't matter... yet it does.[/SIZE][/FONT]