im bi and in a relationship

[woodstockloner]

I a bi male and im in a great relationship with a great girl.... she doesnt know that im bi... but im gonna tell her when im ready to... but the thing is that i also want some dick..... can someone help me with what im supposed to do... i dont know how long i can control my urges.:(

[Justin Chad Taylor]

I know what you are going through because I am in the same situation. I am also a BI-Male the only difference my girlfirend is also bisexual and we both know about one another. We have been friends very awile and we both love each other very much;however, we both get urgers. There are times that I want to suck cock and she wants to eat pussy. I know that this is not going to give you a solution to your problem, but at least you are not the only one going through this situation. If anyone else reads this thread may be you can help us both.:flag2:

[woodstockloner]

its good to know im not the only one

[littlerayofsunshine]

A few questions just to lay out more information so members can have a better have an idea of the dynamics so an informed reply can be made.


How long have you been with this girl? How serious is the relationship? Is she open-minded?


Looking at your age, I can only assume that the girl is around your age or a lil younger. Best not to tell her. She may not handle it in the most mature manner and in the end, tell other people you wish not know, your unmentionables so to speak, out of hurt or anger....


If you really feel the need to sow your oats, then I suggest giving her the "Lets be friends" speech and that way you are free to do as you wish, she doesn't need to know, both are safe and protected......


If you aren't willing to break it off with her, then tell her before you play around. When you don't tell her, its just you loving/caring more about/ preserving yourself then her anyway, so what sort of relationship can last with that? When you take away someone's power of choice, you are treating them as less than a person.


I am not saying these things just because I am a woman. I am saying this as a bisexual woman, who has been successfully in a marriage with a bisexual man for almost 10 years, been with him 11 years. I married him when I was 21, not much older than you. I have been young and bi and now older, wiser and more bi than ever..... As is my husband... and what makes it work?? Honesty and communication.

Good luck to ya.

[Nadir]

I think that Miss littlerayofsunshine has given you a very good advice :) If she is an open-minded girl she will surely won´t mind the fact that you are bisexual. We all sometimes have urges that we find difficult to control, but it is truly important that you are honest and loyal with this girl if you are really going to have a comitted relationship. On the other hand, have a significant other who is bisexual is not widely considered to be a taboo(at least on the place where I come from). I have told a couple of my girlfriends that sometimes I find guys really attractive, and they all take it on different ways so it really depends on the person. Hope to have helped you :)

[woodstockloner]

thanks that was really helpful

[jimjam]

hey good advice but not alll partners are as open as u, bi male here in the same boat. 37 married kids ect . beging bi and female seems to be more socialy excepted. being bi and male u tend to get branded as gay well bi is not gay because gay implies u only like one sex (same sex) and hetro implies u like one sex (opp sex) well i truely like both and without one or the other a sexaul relationship is not complete. sorry but not to many people out there that do except bi men both gay or straight im finding. im out to my partner told her the day we met 2 yrs ago,its was fine at first but now jeolosy taken over i love her and we have a child , but sexaul not fulfiled and i acualy get depressed about it.
i had a brief relationship with a man years ago that could not except i like women.


for me i supose suffer in silence and theinternet as a release is the best .
cheers sorry not happy advise but true advise about being bi and male

[parkwings]

You are young enuf to try dating a male, or a female.. See which one makes you feel more relaxed, less worrysome. There will be pain... and joy ahead, that's life.

You can't spend your whole life stressed about your partner or your sexuality, you have to make peace with it(accept that you like what you like) and relax at some point, otherwise it'll drive you nuts!

[Donkey_burger]

Little ray of sunshine gave you some good advice.

You can also ask her what she thinks of bisexuality, swinging, or polyamory, to kind of "suss out" what her beliefs are. In my opinion, if you have more than two sexual or romantic relationships, and everyone knows about and is okay with it, then it isn't really "cheating" but your girlfriend may think differently.

DB :flag2:

[littlerayofsunshine]

hey good advice but not alll partners are as open as u, bi male here in the same boat. 37 married kids ect . beging bi and female seems to be more socialy excepted. being bi and male u tend to get branded as gay well bi is not gay because gay implies u only like one sex (same sex) and hetro implies u like one sex (opp sex) well i truely like both and without one or the other a sexaul relationship is not complete. sorry but not to many people out there that do except bi men both gay or straight im finding. im out to my partner told her the day we met 2 yrs ago,its was fine at first but now jeolosy taken over i love her and we have a child , but sexaul not fulfiled and i acualy get depressed about it.
i had a brief relationship with a man years ago that could not except i like women.


for me i supose suffer in silence and theinternet as a release is the best .
cheers sorry not happy advise but true advise about being bi and male

You shouldn't presume anything about anyone's life or sexuality or ease thereof.

My bisexuality was not ' accepted' when I was young. I had my child taken out of my custody cause I was openly bisexual in the relationship I had with my child's father. When I was 18 years old. When we went to court, he threw my sexuality on the table. I was deemed a lesbian who had a lesbian affair during the course of our relationship. Even though we BOTH slept with the same woman, just not together at the same time. So his straight sex, was ignored, while my "lesbian" sex was a usable offense against me. And not to mention the fact that I wasn't out to my family, friends, relatives or his, but yet everyone of them learned that day. I was chastised inside and outside of the courtroom and then my own family didn't speak to me.


There are many women here, who would say, them being a bisexual woman, is not easy or as accepted as you might like to think it is.

Your situation is not like that of the OP. My advice was very practical and I offered a few different instances of handling the situation. He is young and has the whole future to develop his sexuality and what sort of relationships he wants in the future. It is much harder to come out and maintain a relationship after the dynamic has already been established. Then it is to cut ties of something that is budding and progress toward something that is more fruitful and meaningful and has a better chance of lasting.

Rule of thumb, The way a relationship is started, is usually the way it ends. Good or bad...

[fredtyg]

About the only thing I'd say is to not let the relationship go too far before you let her know. I'd strongly advise against long term relationships/ marriage if you can't tell her. It will come back to haunt you in the end as it has so many of us that thought we could get over our feelings for the same sex.

Lucky for you, at least in your case you seem to acknowledge those feelings, unlike a lot of us older guys that kept them hidden and thought they'd go away with marriage.

[bistraightpat]

I say tell her after about a month or so. I told my gf and she thought it was soo hot so it worked out for me. But youd really be surprised how many people are bi.

[str8wife]

The longer you wait, the harder it will be. I say.... tell her soon.

[BiPhone]

I can only tell you what I did! I dated my gf for about 8 weeks, and instead of telling her in a dramatic way that Im bi I started a conversation about same sex experiences and how common it was now a days. When she asked me if had ever fantasized about men I told her yes! She said "cool! Thats sexy" I then slowly came out to her as bisexual over time. And then after more time I started talking about maby doing something about it... It took time to get used to (for us both) but she understood that the urges had nothing to do with her or that she wasnt good enough and finally she said that it was okay if i sometimes had sex with men.

this took 1,5 years but I love her very much and her being okay with it is more important to me. I think I have been more stressed about this than her ;)