I am a very bad person.

[_Joe_]

I don't know why...but I do love pranks....

I'm doing tons of home improvement stuffs today.... and while going through the kitchen my wife asked to get some rice out of the pantry (shes in the laundry room on the other side of the house)

I get one bag of that instant rice stuff, and as I walk across the kitchen the bag breaks and rice goes everywhere on the floor.

My wife heard nothing and is totally unaware of what happened.

So... I said very loud, "OH CRAP! DONT COME IN THE KITCHEN! THERE'S MAGGOTS EEEEEEEEEEVERYWHEEEEEEEEEEEERE!"

So my wife...who is Polish I may add, said "WHAT?" and proceeded to leave the laundry room and run into the kitchen to see what I told her not to come look at. I like to go ahead and admit here I knew she was going to ignore what I said and come look anyway. Hell that's why I stressed DONT COME IN THE KITCHEN, to make sure she came right away - I am very busy and can't wait all day for this to play out.

SHe saw all the rice, but she registered MAGGOTS and started going URP! URP! URP! like she was goign to throw up.

I quickly realized what was going to happen ...if she threw up, I would be the one forced to clean up since it wasn't really maggots. So, I quickly screamed ...while laughing .... ITS NOT MAGGOTS ITS RICE!!

Needless to say I heard her call me many, many things. the nicest thing was "you fucking shit asshole". I won't get getting sex forever. She hopes I get a crohns break out. She hates me basically.


but im still fucking laughing my ass off. It was worth it for someone who loves pranks.


The last time she was this pissed was at night when I went up to bed early, and the lights were out and TV off, she snuck in quitely as not to wake me, asked if I was asleep, heard no answer so snuck up to look into my face to see if I was really asleep, and instead opened my eyes really quick and said in a very deep but silly voice "HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" which she almost pissed herself, and I left to sleep on the couch because I found it difficult to fall asleep while laughing and being punched in the ribs for the rest of the night.

THat to. was worth it.

[conswala1987]

thats wicked!!!!! i love waiting quietly outside the bathroom door with my nose againced the door so when he has finished he opens the door to me pulling a horrible face as it is unexpected he usually screams it is very funny for me ...nt so for him lol but as the retaliation starts we now dont shut the bathroom door when we go as neither of us can be trusted lol:bigrin:

[zman64]

and yet this woman stays married to you?...lmao both of those are classic...i have almost broken my wife of the habit of coming home from work very late at night, and tunring on the bedroom light to get undressed, even though she know exactly where her sleeping clothes are, and waking me up to ask what tiime i went bed...i turned the tables on her by doing that a few times to her...i came home wnet in the bedroom, turned on the light shook her awake..and would say "wake up"..she would groggily ask "why?"..i would then say.."for having done it to me all these years"...i almost miss that comfy couch..lol

[Stargazer1417]

OMG, my husband would be in SOO much trouble if he did something like that! Still, since it wasn't my husband doing that to me, I've gotta laugh.

lol

[Holmes]

My favoriteprankis you get another person and kneel outside the bathroom door. When they open you begin singing "We represent the lollypop guilid, the lollypop guild" You never actually get to finish because they are usually screaming and calling you every foul name in the book

[12voltman59]

Yes, Joe--you are a bad, bad boy I say!!!:tong::bigrin:

[codybear3]

Yes you have been a bad boy, Joe... Now come here and drop your drawers and get the spanking that you will like...er... deserve... :bigrin::paw::paw:

[jem_is_bi]

I wish a lot of my friends and family and my partners' friends and family did not feel the same way about faggots.
It would make my life SO much easier.

Maybe, I should spill some rice on their kitchen floors.
Then yell: "OH CRAP! DONT COME IN THE KITCHEN! THERE'S FAGGOTS EEEEEEEEEEVERYWHEEEEEEEEEEEERE!"
But, they would be very relived when I said: ITS NOT FAGGOTS ITS MAGGOTS!

[TwylaTwobits]

OMG Joe I am laughing so hard. You are ebil, I love it.

[TaylorMade]

Your house must be a barrel of laughs, Joe.

*Taylor*

[texasman6172003]

Your a FUCKING RIOT JOE!!!!!!:bigrin:

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

You would have been sleeping with nothing but the dust buster and the broom for the next week had it been me! lol I can handle anything but maggots.:eek::eek2::disgust: Bad Joe, BAD Joe. lol
Cat

[TaylorMade]

Fucking hilarious-nissicity. Now I'm jealous.

I sense you are going to try this at work.

Possibly even throw in a real maggot or two if you try it at home.

*Taylor*