Don't dish it if you can't take it

[smicheller]

I understand that most people don't like me because of my views. But to attack me because I have an opinion is wrong, to call me mean because i don't coward to their bullying me into being sorry for how I feel is wrong.People on the net express themselves all the time. I understand that my strong mind intimidates people, that's fine, but don't expect me to be scared of your trying to bully me. Finally, if you got a problem with me, let's have it, but be prepared to gewt what you give.

[19biman61]

I totally agree. Too many people in this country believe that freedom of speech only applies to them. They can say what they want about anyone or anything and everyone else should listen and learn from their "wisdom". However, if you have a differing opinion and have the audacity to express it then you are a bigot, racist, sexist, homophobe, xenophobe, etc. Just because you or I get offended by someones comments doesn't mean that they don't have the right to make them. I believe that "hate speech" laws are offensive and unconstitutional. You should be free to say what you want as long as you are not being slanderous or conspiring to commit an illegal activity. Go ahead and hate me for being white, male, and bisexual. I don't care. If you hate me for any of those reasons then the more I get to know you, the more I'll probably learn to hate you too. We all have a right to our opinions.

[DubTak]

slightly :offtopic: but I was reminded of this thing I wrote last month. Free speech is one thing, but not taking responsibility for what you say and not accepting its consequences is a whole 'nother animal.

http://dubtak.blogspot.com/2008/11/anti-gay-marriage-treason.html

Also, is this righteous outrage in response to anything in particular or just a general sense of malaise (sp)?

-DubTak:bipride:

[smicheller]

Good point DubTak
Please keep voicing. :bipride:

[csrakate]

Michelle...I guess I just don't understand what it is you are trying to prove. This makes the second post where you've put down members of this site...yet not so long ago you posted one where you were down and at the "end of your rope" and you received an outpouring of love and support! I've seen you in chat where you've inquired about a situation, i.e. how much you should charge people for your business....and if people don't answer quick enough you claim we're ignoring you....and when we DO answer you, you never seem satisfied with our answers. Help me understand....am I missing something?

Kate

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

If someone attacked you then perhaps it was because you give off the air of disliking and disrespecting everyone here, and having an aggressive attitude. I dont know you, have never spoke to you, but you seem like an awful angry individual, and thats unfortunate.
Too bad you didnt give some of us a chance.
Cat

[rassilon953]

Hi, I'm totally new here so have no idea what (if any) history provoked the original post - all I'll say is that the internet is a place where the human race is STILL learning about interaction, even after five minutes (not even that if it's an hour since we lost the dinosaurs).

The two posts above make really good points (Cherokee and Csrakate) but what always needs to be remembered is that what we type isn't what the reader of that typing reads and that's *especially* important in chatrooms.

It's really, really, *really*, REALLY, *REALLY* easy to be misunderstood when you're using typing to express yourself and I encourage absolutely everybody (including myself) to read over that typing before pressing any send button, and to try to do so objectively. On those occasions when you feel things have got a bit heated, type your response without sending it, go for a quick wee or something, and when you get back, read what you were about to send, carefully. If you truly still agree with it, fair enough, press send.

No doubt I'm preaching egg-sucking to converted grandmothers, but I just want everyone to get one with each other and this post made me feel sad.

Charlie

[vittoria]

Michelle...I guess I just don't understand what it is you are trying to prove. This makes the second post where you've put down members of this site...yet not so long ago you posted one where you were down and at the "end of your rope" and you received an outpouring of love and support! I've seen you in chat where you've inquired about a situation, i.e. how much you should charge people for your business....and if people don't answer quick enough you claim we're ignoring you....and when we DO answer you, you never seem satisfied with our answers. Help me understand....am I missing something?

Kate

O.O
:eek:

[wikskul]

Hi, I'm totally new here so have no idea what (if any) history provoked the original post - all I'll say is that the internet is a place where the human race is STILL learning about interaction, even after five minutes (not even that if it's an hour since we lost the dinosaurs).

The two posts above make really good points (Cherokee and Csrakate) but what always needs to be remembered is that what we type isn't what the reader of that typing reads and that's *especially* important in chatrooms.

It's really, really, *really*, REALLY, *REALLY* easy to be misunderstood when you're using typing to express yourself and I encourage absolutely everybody (including myself) to read over that typing before pressing any send button, and to try to do so objectively. On those occasions when you feel things have got a bit heated, type your response without sending it, go for a quick wee or something, and when you get back, read what you were about to send, carefully. If you truly still agree with it, fair enough, press send.

No doubt I'm preaching egg-sucking to converted grandmothers, but I just want everyone to get one with each other and this post made me feel sad.

Charlie


Very good point and even though u r new to this site i have to agree with what u said.:) life is to short to worry about taking things wrong and getting upset at it... take a slow easy breat and try to see someone elses point of view...we are all tied up in our own lives and problems.. we dont see someone elses view and then when we jump on them.. we wonder why we seems to be the bad guy for it all. Things will be said.. things will be done.. that we dont agree with.. but how u approuch the problem is how u will be remembered...
I am a very outspoken person.. but i pick n choose my battles.. i allow someone else to have their views.. and i dont fight with them.. why? cause life is stressful enough so why add to it. Outspoken, angry, hatefull, mean, nasty things that are said in anger can never be taken back, if we all take a breath and keep calm when something is said that we dont like, and DISCUSS the problem, then good things come of it.
Seeing someone elses side and talking things through is alot easier and can lead to great things.
Just my :2cents: take it leave it, but dont argue.. it only causes u pain and health issues, Anger has its uses, ouspokeness has its uses, but pick n choose ur battles. everyone is intitled to thier own opinion, freedom of speech is for everyone, so why fight, disscuss the issue and everyone might learn something new..

[csrakate]

Believe me...I am not trying to put down the OP..I am trying to understand why she continues to post comments like the one in this thread that merely seems to exacerbate hostility. Her biggest complaint about the chat room has to do with her perception of some people "not keeping it real"...not conversing on a level that SHE feels is appropriate for a bisexual chat room. The chat room is visited by many different types of people and you are most certainly not expected to like everything that is being said...but in the same way, you cannot dictate how the conversations are being conducted either. Take what you want and leave the rest...plain and simple. I haven't been to chat in the last few nights so maybe I have missed something, but the night that I encountered the OP in chat, she seemed to be treated quite fine..and also with open arms...and why she feels otherwise I don't know. I know I certainly tried to make sure she was heard when she felt ignored and requested that she repeat her question. I answered her the best way that I could, as did a few others...but just because we couldn't answer to her satisfaction doesn't make us rude or guilty of "copping out". I just don't understand...that is all.

Kate

[wikskul]

Kate i fully agree with u.. i have witnessed it too. and i feel sometimes things can go way to far when tepmers start flaring and then there is no talking anymore it is just hateful words and trying to make eachother see their point of views.. when if they just stopped for a moment and talked out the issue instead of trying to force they point of views down everyones throates.. it would be alot better. disscusion became my friend after i realised that yes being outspoken is a good thing, BUT it takes a real good person to sit and listen instead of opening their mouths and trying to make someone see their point of view.. since not everyone will see it.. regardless of their perspetion or how much they yell and scream, i believe (and this is MY beliefe) if we sit down and discuss an issue.. dont get heated, just discuss it, then we all learn something new, and are better people for it. asking questions is a great thing to understand peoples perseptions... it isnt suppost to start a fight, just to understand where someone is coming from, but if the person asked takes it the wrong way, that is their fault, and if they see it as someone coming at them, then again they are wrong, if they stop and try to explain without a heated convo, then they are actually disscussing the issue.
If we all take the time to sit and ask questions... and get a responce.. and are able to say our point of view without fighting imagion what life would be like.
I admitt i used to fight and yell when someone didnt agree with me, and my life was hard, and how i saw life was hard, but now since i learned how to listen and accept others opinions, i reaslised how much i have learned, how many people i have made friends with, great people i might add, and how much i have mutured and grown as a person. plus alot of my health issues have all but gone away, since stress kills the body slowly.

[FalconAngel]

slightly :offtopic: but I was reminded of this thing I wrote last month. Free speech is one thing, but not taking responsibility for what you say and not accepting its consequences is a whole 'nother animal.

http://dubtak.blogspot.com/2008/11/anti-gay-marriage-treason.html

Also, is this righteous outrage in response to anything in particular or just a general sense of malaise (sp)?

-DubTak:bipride:

The blog makes a good point, but here's one that really drives it home; While the Pledge of Allegiance" is almost always spoken by children in school, it cannot apply to children as they are not lawfully adults and not legal to make binding contract, as adults are.

However, when an adult enlists in the military, they take an oath to protect the Constitution, not the nation.
Any military veteran that voted for any legislation that is technically unconstitutional (such as Prop 8 and similar legislation) has, quite factually, committed an act of treason against the United States Constitution.

On the original topic, all speech is protected, short of speech that incites violence, foments teasonous acts and similar things (can't yell fire in a theater unless there actually is a fire, for instance).

Freedom has it's rights, but it also has it's responsibilities and more people should learn that. Perhaps if more people understood things like that, then the ignorance of political correctness could take a hike and we could all handle the truth and stop being a bunch of oversensitive candy asses (general population-speaking) about every little perceived insult.

[vittoria]

The blog makes a good point, but here's one that really drives it home; While the Pledge of Allegiance" is almost always spoken by children in school, it cannot apply to children as they are not lawfully adults and not legal to make binding contract, as adults are.

However, when an adult enlists in the military, they take an oath to protect the Constitution, not the nation.
Any military veteran that voted for any legislation that is technically unconstitutional (such as Prop 8 and similar legislation) has, quite factually, committed an act of treason against the United States Constitution.

On the original topic, all speech is protected, short of speech that incites violence, foments teasonous acts and similar things (can't yell fire in a theater unless there actually is a fire, for instance).

Freedom has it's rights, but it also has it's responsibilities and more people should learn that. Perhaps if more people understood things like that, then the ignorance of political correctness could take a hike and we could all handle the truth and stop being a bunch of oversensitive candy asses (general population-speaking) about every little perceived insult.

The truth? "YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!"--Jack Nicholson ;)

[smicheller]

I read that forum earlier, some of the people who in my opinion are guilty of being hers to further their swinging lifestyle replied to your thread. They keep saying we are a family here but I don't feel the love. My mother and I often disagree, but she would never treat me or anyone else the way they have. when I go to the chat I say hello to everyone, only one lady will reply every time.Only her.I don't join in their chat because the sexual under tones in what they type is mindless to me. I observed the chat room for a week, nothing but sexual under tones, - one person being concerned about another being under the weather ( they were both lesbians, and one of them has expressed to a male in chat that she does not do men and would prefer he stop baiting her sexually, that it was starting to really bother her. I have no problem with people talking sex in the chat but when you can't have a conversation with someone because of them typing over you, it's sad. They want you to be in their mindless conversation. So I don't bother typing anymore. I'm not a bully, I have rights just like them, and I wont be sorry for being a strong woman. I respect myself and those I come in contact with , no matter how they feel about me, I respond to people according to how they come at me first. I will always stand up for my self and others like me. Yes I was raised to be proud of who I am.:bipride::flag4::three::female::male:
And yes I am happy, I have personal(mental issues)but what people need to understand is that doesn't stop me from having an IQ above 150 . My head may not always be but it's leveled.

[void()]

I read that forum earlier, some of the people who in my opinion are guilty of being hers to further their swinging lifestyle replied to your thread. They keep saying we are a family here but I don't feel the love. My mother and I often disagree, but she would never treat me or anyone else the way they have. when I go to the chat I say hello to everyone, only one lady will reply every time.Only her.I don't join in their chat because the sexual under tones in what they type is mindless to me. I observed the chat room for a week, nothing but sexual under tones, - one person being concerned about another being under the weather ( they were both lesbians, and one of them has expressed to a male in chat that she does not do men and would prefer he stop baiting her sexually, that it was starting to really bother her. I have no problem with people talking sex in the chat but when you can't have a conversation with someone because of them typing over you, it's sad. They want you to be in their mindless conversation. So I don't bother typing anymore. I'm not a bully, I have rights just like them, and I wont be sorry for being a strong woman. I respect myself and those I come in contact with , no matter how they feel about me, I respond to people according to how they come at me first. I will always stand up for my self and others like me. Yes I was raised to be proud of who I am.:bipride::flag4::three::female::male:
And yes I am happy, I have personal(mental issues)but what people need to understand is that doesn't stop me from having an IQ above 150 . My head may not always be but it's leveled.


They call it depression in my case. I understand what you mean about the mindless drivel. Though, I do indulge in it a bit as well. It is a chat room, a place to relax and unwind, at least for most people.

Well, iq of 150 or better or not, I still need sleep. Night.

[rainbowmonk]

smicheller
I have finally had enough of this. You are not trying to work with people here. You are hurting people that I call friends and I will not stand idly by. There is a limit to what you can get away with when you come into a place like this. Most everyone from what I can tell has tried to welcome you in here and you threw it right back in their face. It took me awhile to become friends with these people and when I did I grew a strong bond. You say we have a clique but why would you call it a clique when we tried to invite you in? A clique would not invite you in and yet we have tried to no avail. You wondered why you had so many men hitting on you when you first came onto the site. Well I will answer that for you.... the reason so many guys were hitting on you was that you only posted pics of you in lingerie. What did expect to find? You want to know why we get defensive? Well when you jump down our throats about small things then we will get defensive. You say that you wont apologize for your actions because you are warranted well don't we have a right to our opinion? apparently not in your world.I will leave you with one thought and on question.

A wise man once said if you don't open your mouth no one knows how stupid you are.

Finally if you don't like this place so much why do you keep on coming back?

now I know this is not the last of this so bring it on Chicky!!! I need a good laugh at your expense. It will just prove my point how intelligence has nothing to do with wisdom and heart.

Monk

[smicheller]

I can express myself if I choose to, does it bother you that your insults don't bother me. To answer an earlier post, advice should be given carefully. don't put me down then tell me to hang in there.I felt that way that day, so I expressed it in words rather than do something stupid. To answer the statement you keep making. My heart has not been broken, i'm not hurting. Keep it coming cause your just proving the point of another post on this forum. Thank you.
Voicing an opinion is just that, may have weight and it may not.
And i've been coming to this site sense it started. The chat had sex talk, they all do, but people didn't clog the page with it, if you look at the list of people in chat you'll see that all of them are not actively chatting, I wonder why, can't say, I only know why I choose not, but instead observe. You do your thing and I do mine. You and others voice your opinion in many of these forums and I must say, it's not always nice. So, don't dish it if you can't take it with a grain of salt.

Everyone have a wonderful holiday, tell your family you love them, and be safe.

[rissababynta]

I can express myself if I choose to, does it bother you that your insults don't bother me. To answer an earlier post, advice should be given carefully. don't put me down then tell me to hang in there.I felt that way that day, so I expressed it in words rather than do something stupid. To answer the statement you keep making. My heart has not been broken, i'm not hurting. Keep it coming cause your just proving the point of another post on this forum. Thank you.
Voicing an opinion is just that, may have weight and it may not.
And i've been coming to this site sense it started. The chat had sex talk, they all do, but people didn't clog the page with it, if you look at the list of people in chat you'll see that all of them are not actively chatting, I wonder why, can't say, I only know why I choose not, but instead observe. You do your thing and I do mine. You and others voice your opinion in many of these forums and I must say, it's not always nice. So, don't dish it if you can't take it with a grain of salt.

Everyone have a wonderful holiday, tell your family you love them, and be
safe.

How many other names have you used here since the site started...cause it says that under this name you just joined this year.

And here's my opinion...

Don't keep coming to a site that was made specifically for adults to discuss and feel comfortable about sexuality if you are going to get bent out of shape when people always talk about sex. Half the time it's just playful banter anyway.

[**Peg**]

having an IQ of 150 is no guarantee that a person has either refined sensibilites nor good manners.

[rissababynta]

having an IQ of 150 is no guarantee that a person has either refined sensibilites nor good manners.

I hate to be rude, but normally someone who REALLY has a high IQ doesn't feel he need to throw it around completely off topic anyway...so I doubt it's for real...

[FalconAngel]

I hate to be rude, but normally someone who REALLY has a high IQ doesn't feel he need to throw it around completely off topic anyway...so I doubt it's for real...

That's true.

After all, this is cyber real life, not "The Big Bang Theory". Real people with high IQ's don't annoy people with the fact that they have them. They just quietly plod along and show their genius through intellectual words and acts, giving the benefit of the doubt by presuming that the majority of people will understand them.

[pottzie]

It doesn't matter what others think, as long as you're OK with yourself. If that's true, what difference does it make what anyone thinks?
Having said that, what do you think the chances are that NASCAR will regain it's dominance in the great spectacle of racing? Just kidding.
Don't take anything too seriously. It's the eleventh commandment.

[shybipinay]

No, the 11th. commandment is "do unto others as you would have them do unto you".

[Falke]

No, the 11th. commandment is "do unto others as you would have them do unto you".


Wait, I thought this was the 14th commandment. As I recall, the 11th is "He whom smelt it, delt it."

[allbimyself]

The 11th is "Thou shalt not get caught."

[jem_is_bi]

That's true.

After all, this is cyber real life, not "The Big Bang Theory". Real people with high IQ's don't annoy people with the fact that they have them. They just quietly plod along and show their genius through intellectual words and acts, giving the benefit of the doubt by presuming that the majority of people will understand them.

Being very smart is just like any other tool (education, determination, etc) for getting your job (life goals) accomplished. If you are fortunate to have above normal intelligence, GREAT! But, being smart is not the same as being a good person, having morals and the respect of others for you and a deeply felt respect for ALL other people by you. All of these I value more than a high IQ.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

All you have done with this thread and the other one you posted is rant and rave about how bad you've got it and how people have been wrong to you.
Maybe its time for you to find a place where you can "Keep it real" and feel like you are not being put down, or mistreated. Frankly, if you are so uptight about us being adult, and talking about sex, or sexual situations and dislike all of us so much, then all I can say is, "Dont let the door hit ya in the butt on the way out"
Just my humble opinion.:2cents:
Cat

[FalconAngel]

Being very smart is just like any other tool (education, determination, etc) for getting your job (life goals) accomplished. If you are fortunate to have above normal intelligence, GREAT! But, being smart is not the same as being a good person, having morals and the respect of others for you and a deeply felt respect for ALL other people by you. All of these I value more than a high IQ.

You make some very good points, Jem, but in our experience, most people will be polite as long as it is deserved and give respect once it has been earned.

Good people will almost always do that. Being good does not mean that one must be a doormat, though.
Not that we are implying that you are saying that, but there will be some out there that believe that being a good person means not standing up for oneself or anything, effectively letting others walk all over them.

[jem_is_bi]

You make some very good points, Jem, but in our experience, most people will be polite as long as it is deserved and give respect once it has been earned.

Good people will almost always do that. Being good does not mean that one must be a doormat, though.
Not that we are implying that you are saying that, but there will be some out there that believe that being a good person means not standing up for oneself or anything, effectively letting others walk all over them.

I was expanding on your comment that most people with a high IQ are happy to have such a wonderful gift, which allows them to life exceptionally creative lives. This does not give them a feeling of superiority over others, rather, it provides them with great joy because they are able to comprehend the world around them at such a high level that they are able to contribute to the expansion of the frontier of human knowledge.
So, I am sorry for leaving an impression that I think it is good to be polite and respectful to someone that is treating you as they would a doormat. When, I first meet someone, I give him or her respect. They lose my respect by being immoral or disrespectful of others or me. If someone tries to harm me or treat me as a doormat, I fight back vigorously to force them to change their behavior; respect for them is a non-issue by then. I am polite, but not necessarily respectful of them, after they modify their behavior toward me.

[rissababynta]

The 11th is "Thou shalt not get caught."

haha!