I Have A Problem....

[strawberry8302]

Hey, guys! I had a little encounter the last monday night, and I would like you guys' feedback on if i'm right or wrong. That night, on October 10th, around 10:45 pm, I overheard my mom and her boyfriend having sex. They weren't loud, but I heard the bed moving. She told me that she was going to sleep. The last time I checked, the bed doesn't move when you're asleep. So anyway, I felt disrespected that they would have sex while I was awake. My mother knows that I'm a "night owl" (meaning that I stay up during the late
night hours), so I didn't understand why they would do something like that. And also, the type of person my mother is would never give me the impression that she would ever have sex with anyone while I was in the house. This is how she is:
1- if we watch comedians on tv and they're talking about sex, she'll
turn the channel;
2-if there is a sexually explicit movie or tv show, she'll turn the
channel
So basically, anything dealing with sex, she would act uncomfortable around me when i was with her and we were doing one or the above. So I was shocked as hell after what I heard. After I thought they were done, I went to her room and knocked on the door and asked if i could speak to her. she came out of the room with nothing but a robe on, and she was sweating. I jokingly told her that I didn't appreciate the fact that they were having sex while I was in the house. In all of my 18 years, she's never had sex with a man while I was in the house. I lost my virginity when I was 14. She's judged me ever since that day, telling me that my body is a temple, and I should never give it up until i'm married. Hence, she wasn't married and was in college when she had me, at 22 years old. (lol-perfect example, huh?)Anyway, yesterday afternoon when i got home from work, I explained to her in a serious tone that even though i joked the night before, i was totally serious about feeling disrespected that she was having sex while i was in the house. She blew the whole thing out of proportion and we got into an arguement. She later on told me that she didn't plan on having sex--she was upset about something and she said that he was trying to make her feel better. So that makes me feel like he was being disrespectful to me that he influenced my mother into having sex. My mother told me that he's really embarassed that I heard them, but I don't think so. He wasn't embarassed when he was screwing my mom. Anyway, my mom and I are okay now, but everytime i see them together, i'm going to picture them "doing it" - ewwwwwwww!!!!!!! (for ANY child, that is so disgusting.) And get this, he just moved in 4 weeks ago! So anyway, give me your feedback! Thanks guys!

[arana]

I'm sorry Strawberry, that you feel like your mom was disrespecting you. She is an adult woman in her own home and since you say her boyfriend has been living with her for the past four weeks, how could you not think they'd have sex. It's naive to think she's never done it with you around at some point in your 18 years.
Most parents don't want their children having sex before they're married anymore than you liked the thought of your mom having sex. Your saying ewwww to the thought of it proves my point. Parents don't always convey things well to their children but the fact that she had you at 22 while unwed should tell you that maybe she knows a little on what she's talking about and that she only wants the best for you. She does not want you to make the same mistakes she has. Think about yourself being in her shoes. Neither of you has it easy and should be more understanding of each other. Good luck sweetie.

Hugs,
Arana :tong:

[bigregory]

Im not sure if it will help.
Because they are both adults,they will be doing "it".
Maybe get a radio so you wont hear them.
:2cents:

[strawberry8302]

Well, arana, I know that my mother has sex, duh. It's a human thing. You are missing my point. My mother is EXTREMELY SENSITIVE about sex, so I don't understand while she would have sex while I was up, and still in the house. She is so sensitive about sex, that she never even gave me the sex talk, which is why I lost my virginity at 14. So if she really cared about me having a baby at a young age like she did, she would have tried to prevent me from having sex, but she just avoided it. Her actions were a complete contradiction of what she stands for. I could understand if they were having sex, and I was out of the house, and I heard them when I came in. THAT'S different. But my presence was known. Now, do you see what I mean?

[Damon]

As a very open-minded person I had to read your post twice strawberry and then ponder it for a while before i decided to give my :2cents:

You said her actions were a complete contradiction of what your mother stood for. You also said that she told you she was upset about something and her boyfriend was trying to make her feel better. I think in time "you" will also go through a similar experience where a certain circumstance will cause you to act "outside of your box" so to speak..

The advice i offer is to "try" to understand that no-one can live their life the way they want to "all the time". There will be a few times at least when you must adapt and usually these times do not cause any moral conflict as it feels best to go with the moment.

Trust me in time you will experience a similar situation and think back to the day when you first learned that lesson and finally understand it :)

Damon

[Mrs.F]

I think what Damon and Arana said are both good points. You can't always live your life the way your want or expect too. Things happen, people change and you must adapt. I"m sure you mom didn't want you to hear what was going on but if she was upset about something as you said and he was trying to make her feel better.....I don't think you being in the house was on her mind at that moment. She's an adult and you being 18 are also an adult, so it's time for you to realize that things do happen outside of people's "boxes". Your time will come as Damon said when you have a similar experience. Being only 18 you have alot to experience yet and so much you want to experience, so a situation you are not expecting will appear at some point. I'm glad you and your mom are talking and things are ok with the both of you. But like Bigregory said...if you can't handle that your mom is doing "it" while your there then get a radio or turn the tv up.
Take care and good luck! :)

[m.in.heels&hose]

Hello Strawberry
i dont know if this will help or not, but this was the case when i was 18, my mom (not so much dad tho) would not involve me into any "adult" coversations realiting to sex, this waas because she still thought i was a virgin, and she did not want to give me any idea's that she thought i hadnt had yet!

And its my thinking that maybe your mom is being the same way with you!

i remember watching a movie (i was laying on the floor as i always did) and when ever a "sex scene" in the movie was shown, my mom would put her foot in front of my face, and when i asked her to "stop, i am trying to watch this movie" she replied that "she did not want me to have those "thoughts" and once i got my first piece of ass, thats all i would care about, is getting another and another' at this point i told my mom that she was a few years too late, and then the next morning just her and i had a talk over breakfast, and she came to realise that her "little boy" was not as innocent as she thought.


thats how i "broke the ice" with my mom, but i somehow dont think that same scenario will take place with you, but i do wish you the best of luck with understanding how parents think :2cents:


GOOD LUCK
m.in.heels&hose

[csrakate]

There are a lot of different ways at looking at your situation Strawberry. For one thing, you are 18 and not exactly naive about sex...your mother is an adult and has the right to a relationship in her own home, regardless of the views she has presented to you about the subject. But she is still your mother and should recognize that for you, perceiving her as a sexual being is difficult. But also as an adult, you must realize that your mother is human, and deserves to have the opportunity to share intimate moments with her boyfriend. Basically, what it boils down to is common courtesy and respect for one another. Sit down and calmly discuss this with your mom...tell her that you would appreciate a bit more discretion when and if she plans to have sex with her boyfriend. She should certainly respect the fact that you find it uncomfortable. And it wouldn't hurt for you to pay a little less attention to what is going on...instead do as the others suggested by turning up the tv or listening to the radio.

And please...try to forgive her for not being as open about sex with you as she should have been. It's not easy for some people to do so and to label her as a hypocrite is not going to help your situation.

Best of luck to you...and turn up that volume!!

Kate

[wanderingrichard]

ok you wanted feedback you got it.

first, your mother is a grown woman and has both physical and spiritual needs just like you do.

from what you said,it really sounds like you both have posession, control, jealousy and values issues.. learn to get over them. you've already taken the first step when you talked to your mom.. now, it's time to talk to your moms b/f. don't be pissed when he tells ya to f.o. cause you are a minor in that home under the state laws, yadda yadda. been there done that, it aint fun for nobody.

learn to change your habits and live in the light.. stop prowlin the house and stuff at all hours of the night, and learn to respect each others privacy. i bet if you ask your mom, she might tell ya that she feels ya spied on her that night.

give each other space. you both have needs and both need privacy for intimate things in your life. find another way around this, like stayin over with your friends some nights.

parents have sex. your grandparents have sex.. it's human nature. accept the imagery and the idea as part of growing up.

[strawberry8302]

First, I would like to thank everyone for their feedback. Now, I'm not being harsh, but I've carefully read your posts, and I do not agree with them. I am not a minor, I am a young adult. I have the mind of a 36 year old woman, so I am very mature for my age. All I am saying is that I feel like they should have took those private matters elsewhere. My mother would be furious if she woke up to go to the bathroom and overheard me having sex. I do not "prowl the house" at night, i just have different sleeping hours than she because I work different days and hours. I pay bills in the house, so I can have whatever opinion I want. If I want to have sex, I make sure I do it elsewhere, or when I am sure that they are supposed to be out of the house. Respect goes both ways, not one. And If i pay bills and I respect the way and when I have sex, so should they. Age is nothing but a number, so just because they are older does not mean that they should get more respect than me. I have sex all the time, that doesn't mean I have to disrespect someone else to do it. I know my mother has needs, as do I, but all I ask is that she fulfill them somewhere else.
Thank You.

[bediddle]

I hate to say it but I think this you're probably blowing this a bit out of proportion, strawberry. So you heard your mother having sex. You heard her once in your 18 years. That's a pretty impressive track record. as has been mentioned earlier, it's almost guaranteed that she has had sex with you in the house before.

Having sex in your own bedroom seems kind of similar to having a stinky poo in your own bathroom. Sure some other people in the house might notice it and think it's gross, but as much as you might want to hold it in until everyone has gone out or spray tons of airfreshener... every once in a while someone is going to have a clue that you did it. The only way of ensuring that no one will see the evidence is to live alone.

Good luck. As with all other things, this will fade with time. ;)

[Damon]

Yea strawberry, I'm gonna have to be rude and say loose the hang-ups or move..

I remember when i was a little younger than you and I thought i was mature for my age, (I was, but nowhere near as mature as i thought) and i said exactly the same kind of things you are saying about paying bills, being a "young adult" and not my actual age and, in my ignorance, not believing a word of advice given to me as you have done here.. (And trust me, you have no idea what the mind of a 36 year old is like, no matter how much you want to believe it or how much you feel like you do, you will NEVER know what the mind of a 36 year old is like until your 36!) Come back to reality mate cuz i'll be honest and say i used to quote that same shit, and its only now that i realise why i didnt get the respect i KNEW i deserved back then :) Believe me, in 5 years time you'll look back and think "Wow look how mature I actually am now compared to what i thought i was", and then 2 years after THAT you'll look back and think "Holy shit look how mature I am NOW, there must be soooo much to learn about life!" :)

"Try" to keep an open mind.. Regardless of paying bills it's still your mum's house.. YOU are the one that has to adapt your ways to suit her.. not the other way around.. Otherwise move and be happy there.. But please dont tell us that none of our advice even helped you in the slightest because I personally think everyone has really pitched in well to advise and inform you on some of the many lessons and ways of life that you have to look forward to :)

Damon

[bigregory]

A stinky poo LOLOLOLO

[SexybbwSharon]

Hi Strawberry.
I have to agree with most of what has been said by the others. If it is the first time in 18 years that you have heard your mother, then yeah, i think that isnt a bad track record for her!
I agree with Damon in the fact that you will not know what a 36 yr old mind is like until you are 36! When i was 18 i thought i was so mature and now at 25 i look back and realise that i was far from it. Even now i know i have a lot to learn and a lot of life experiences yet to live.
I think you mum was probably quite embarassed that you had heard them and i agree with the fact that she may even feel a bit spied on.
I think the best thing would be for you, your mum and her b/f to sit down and talk about it. Hash out some house rules about respecting each others privacy and views etc and buy a good pair of headphones so that if they start again, you can chuck your fav music on, throw on the headphones and enjoy some music instead of listening to what they are doing.
Most of all realise that even though you help pay the bills etc that it is still your mothers house. Paying the bills shouldnt get you special privileges in the house, as everybody has to pay bills, living at home makes you no differant. It shows that you are responsable enough to realise you can not let your mum pay yor way for you, so maybe you should be responsable enough to realise that your mum is only human and cant live her life tiptoeing around and being quiet in her own house just because you live there as well.
Talk to them both, tell them how you feel, but realise that she is not in the wrong with this one.
xxx :)

BTW Bediddle lol @ stinky poo!!

[strawberry8302]

To Damon:
I never said that you guys' advice didn't help me; I said that I did not agree with it. There is a difference. The main reason why I don't agree with you guys' advice is because most of you are older than me, so you are going to have answers that side with my mother.

Secondly, my mother doesn't feel like I spied on her-because she told me that, and because I didn't. I was in her room's vacinity making something to eat. Her room is near the kitchen, and that's when and why I heard them. I don't go around waiting for my mom to have sex so I can overhear her, and then say I feel disrespected. I just happened to be near. Now, my mom can say she's embarrassed all she wants, but if she really was, she would have made sure I wasn't home. That is my main point. I'm not asking for my mother to "tiptoe" around me, I'm just asking that she carry on certain activities elsewhere when I'm around. They can have sex in the car for all I care, I just don't want to be around.

On another note, this is actually MY house, because I was the one who found it, and paid the first 4 months rent and the security deposit; because my mother didn't have it at the time and desperately wanted to move.

Anyway, most parents claim that they pay the bills, so they can do whatever they want. Well, I pay the bills here too, so I deserve a little respect, 18 years old or not. Just because she is my mother does not mean that she can do whatever she wants to me and I'll just take it. You can say that we're kind of like roommates. We both pay bills, so we both deserve equal respect.

Thanks again, everybody.

[Mrs. Taz]

when I was living with my parents I to had a few times like that. I actually saw my parents doing it. I had a bed room right beside theirs, and wasnt allowed to shut my door and their bed was right infront of my door. and yes I though eeeewww also. But how do you think we got here? and my parents at the time I saw this were in their mid to late 50s. and my dads ass in the air. not a pretty site, needless to say I told my mom what I had seen, and all she told me was well, close ur eyes. and she said she dont even like sex. my mom never gave me "the talk" either, sex was a bad word in that house when I was growing up. my dad didnt even like to hear me say puberity. lol I think I spelled that wrong,o well. anyway. I lost my virginity at the age of 18 and to this day my mom dont know about that. And I have to say I do agree with arana, your mom dont want you making the same mistakes she made. And maybe since your mom never had "the talk" with you she thought maybe if she didnt talk to u about it then you wouldnt be as likely to do it. I dont know everyone is diffrent even in the way they think. I also believe she thought that either they were being quiet enough that you couldnt hear them having sex or that you were grown up enough to understand it and except it.anyway also my advice is, to have a heart to heart talk with your mom about sex, like I did with mine. it may not solve anything but might make you feel better. I know it made me feel better to talk to my mom.


kitten

[Damon]

To Damon:
I never said that you guys' advice didn't help me; I said that I did not agree with it. There is a difference. The main reason why I don't agree with you guys' advice is because most of you are older than me, so you are going to have answers that side with my mother.


If you do not aggree with advice someone gives you, do you use it..?? No. So therefore the advice given did not help you as you did not use it. There is not a difference. But it's this kind of thing I'm talking about. It seems to me that you are looking for a "Woe is me" sympathy vote here and most of the advice given to you that does not fit in that category is simply dismissed.. AND, if you do not trust us older folks to give an OPEN, HONEST opinion then you've come to the wrong place for help friend. As older people, we have experienced (in most cases) more than younger people. So of course we can demonstrate our ability to understand both you and your mum's case. And the people who have responded HAVE given advice for both persons. But only you can sit down for a minute and again "try" to have an open mind about it.

Now personally your responses have rubbed me the wrong way both times for i believe you are being just a little stubborn but then i remember that i too was stubborn at your age and I look at how well I have turned out now as a result of taking a chance on someones advice that I didnt fully aggree with but felt was worth considering. Being stubborn is a good quality, in fact a great quality, but ONLY if you remember to be a little more tolerant of other views and opinions as well.. We are in this life to learn.. From the day we are born till the day we die, the odds are that we will learn at least one new thing everyday be it major or minute.. What we do with the knowledge is up to ourselves, but the more we learn and the more knowledge we accept, the better a person we ultimately become..

That is all

[Mrs.F]

I hate to say it but I think this you're probably blowing this a bit out of proportion, strawberry. So you heard your mother having sex. You heard her once in your 18 years. That's a pretty impressive track record. as has been mentioned earlier, it's almost guaranteed that she has had sex with you in the house before.

Having sex in your own bedroom seems kind of similar to having a stinky poo in your own bathroom. Sure some other people in the house might notice it and think it's gross, but as much as you might want to hold it in until everyone has gone out or spray tons of airfreshener... every once in a while someone is going to have a clue that you did it. The only way of ensuring that no one will see the evidence is to live alone.

Good luck. As with all other things, this will fade with time. ;)

I totally agree with bediddle here. I think you are blowing this a bit out of proportion. So, you mom has sex and she does it in her house. Is she suppose to leave the house each and everytime she has sex? Where is she suppose to go? And you also say that you pay some of the bills and you paid for 4 months rent and deposit because your mom didn't have the money. Your roomates??? Well, if you really did live with someone else as a roommate you would still be dealing with the same issues. Roomates bring people home after dates, they have boyfriends/girlfriends and sex is bound to happen. Your just having a problem with it because it's your MOM! After 18 yrs. you finally heard your mom having sex.....I do agree that is an excellent record.
My parents never sat me down and had the "sex" talk with me either. Personally I'm fearing the day when my son is the age that I must talk to him about it. It's not a comfortable thing to talk about with your child. She just doesn't know how to deal with talking to you about it. But like most people have said on here as "advice" to you. Sit your mom down and talk to her about it. It's the only way your both going to understand each other.
I guess like Damon....your comments have "rubbed" me the wrong way. I remember at age 18......(Man, that was so long ago but doesn't feel that long ago.) I thought I knew everything and there was nothing more I needed to know. Boy, was I wrong. Everyday life is a new experience and something to be learned. This is your experience and you will learn from it! :)

I have to add that I love the "Stinky Poo" story. lolololololololol. I never thought of it that way before. :bigrin:

[Ratchick]

Strawberry,
Could it be your deeper problem is with your mom having a boyfreind?
I agree with most in that your mom is a consenting adult and if she wants to "do-it" in her home it is her right.

You are 18. By Law, an adult.
This transistion from Teenager to adult is tough and it is tougher to see our parents as sexual beings. We hold resentments because of the sandards our parents held us to. Accept that your mom is not perfect and deserves to be happy.

I personally held to the belief that kept me sane that I was hatched until 21 (Hee hee) My parents never had sex . (LOL)

Maybe examine why you are so upset that she had sex? Maybe you don't like her Boyfreind? Maybe you are upset that she has such high standards for you but doesn't follow them herself? It is natural for parents to want MORE for our kids.

Either way it is her house and she pays for it, and if you want her to understand you as a sexual being you should understand her first, or get your own apartment.

RC

[bediddle]

Mrs. F makes a good point about the fact that roomates deal with the same issues. I have heard every roommate I have had having sex. With roomates I think it's even more difficult. Sex isn't as taboo of a topic with your roomates as it is with your family. I have even heard my neighbours having sex (I've lived in apartments since I was 17)
In fact, this could be looked at from a slightly different angle. Perhaps if you are paying the rent it gives you a little more right in the place you are living. Perhaps it gives you the right to have sex in your own bedroom any time you like. It gives you this right as much as it gives you the right to feel comfortable in your home (without listnening to someone else having sex). I'm hoping that this is making sense. You both have these rights. Which means that you need to work out some kind of agreement that works for both of you. Neither of the following statements is fail:
1. You can't have sex in your bedroom when there is someone else awake in the house.
2. You have to listen to me having sex whenever I want to have it.
The only way to work this out is to talk to your mother.

[Ratchick]

Sorry I didnt relise Strawberry owned the house. Still, Most of my post applies.

RC

[james36365]

hey i got a question was you trying to hear are was they that loud.really sounds like you need a life strawberry.grow up she is a mature adult that spent alot of time raising you.you say you are 18 maybe its time you moved on to you own place.or do you want her to sign a contract saying she will show no one affection except her little girl.trust me in another 18 years you will run into other situations you were not meant to hear.doesn't mean the world hates you.i think she just wanted you to not have sex till you were old enough to make reasonable judgements about relations.

[strawberry8302]

I agree with bediddle. And I mostly did take everyone's advice. I didn't agree with the approaches, but I still took the advice. My mom and I already had a talk, and she agreed with me, that I was right about her having sex while I was in the house. She explained to me that she should have made sure that I wasn't around. We made an agreement. We will plan when we want to have sex with our boyfriends. And technically, since it's MY house, I don't have to get my own place, I can kick my mom out, but I would never do that. I'm going to college soon, anyway; so she can have all the sex she wants to while I'm gone. All parents say is: "RESPECT MY HOUSE". Well, it's MY house, so she has to respect me too, which is what she said.

If I had a roomate, I wouldn't care if they were having sex, because they would most likely be my age, and I'd probably join in. (lol) It's the fact that it's my MOM, and I just feel like I should have NEVER heard her, whether this was the first time or not.

I know that I am stubborn, but I DO NOT THINK THAT I KNOW EVERYTHING. I'm sorry if I hurt anybody's feelings, trust me, that's the last thing I wanna do. I was just shocked and hurt, and I still am. Thanx everybody for your honest opinions and replies.

[MikeW]

The mature thing to do would have been to pretend you didn't hear anything. You need to understand that this is your mother's home. "Take it somewhere else"??? Where else can be more private than her own bedroom? From the sounds of it your mother has been pretty careful not to let you hear up until this point.You probably embarrassed the shit out of her. I'll bet dollars to donuts your mom thought you were out of ear shot. Next time it happens go put your headphones on and listen to music. If you can't accept that then it's time for you to get your own place where you can set the rules. In the mean time, get over it and realise who's the parent and who's the child. (and I don't care what age you are or get to, you'll always be the child in your mother's home)

[revol]

Hello Strawberry: Regardless of how your mother seems to be when sexy TV shows or movies are on, she certainly is not involved in any contradiction. I mean, unless your house is a small one room shack, its not like she is doing it in the same room as you. I do not want to sound harsh, but grow up. Your mother is an adult. Where do you expect her to have sex, if not in her own house? The world does not revolve around you. If you prefer to stay up all night, thats cool, but do not expect your mother to arrange her schedule around your whims? Regardless of what she is doing. Of course, I am assuming that your mother, at the time, did not think you could hear her having sex.

[gina42]

Strawberry,
i have read your post a few times now and what others replys were to you but i have to say this regardless if your mother was married or not when she had you...and the fact you had sex at 14,i dont know the if your mother is judging you or not but she still is your mother and mothers only want what is best for there children...
you used a statement " lol the perfect example huh"...nobody is perfect,we all say and do things we regret sometimes but you should always respect your parents.
now about the boyfriend..you said they were living together now,they are adults with needs,they will be having sex with you home and im sure your mother has had sex before with you home and you didnt hear her..
now you said they were quite, that you hear the bed moving ...you could have turned up the tv or something...
im not telling you to grow up or anything like that but strawberry you are 18 years old,but when you have kids are you not going to have sex with them being home?just a question and food for thought for you hun. gina

[candlelover]

Hello Strawberry,

I have read your post a couple of times. I usually dont respond to posts but this one struck me. I hear and understand what you are saying about your mom, but if you take into consideration how much money your mom has spent on you over the yrs Im sure you will agree that the 4 months rent that you have paid and the bills that you are paying or paid outweights beyond a doubt what you have received in financial assistance from your mom. When I was 33 I had moved back into my parents house I was seperated and had a 2 yr old child, regardless of what I paid or contributed it was still my parents house their names were on the bills not mine, and yes I followed the rules, heard them having sex, and I had a curfew. Your mom is a mature adult, and should be able to enjoy intimacy whenever she has the desire without worrying who is going to see or hear, this is just a part of life we all have needs and wants. Alot of 18 yr olds would feel lucky to be able to stay with their mom instead of having to go out and support themselves like mature adults do. Yes I felt when I was 18 I was very mature myself, but the world is a cold hard place and you find out very early you dont really know what you thought you did. I have also had roommates who could have cared less if I heard them having sex or not and I had a 3 yr old child living there also. In the end the point still remains that you are the child and she is still your mom regardless of how old you are. If anyone should be looking for a place to have sex at it should be the child not the parent. In conculsion I am glad that you were able to talk with your mom, I wish you luck.

[nakedambrosia]

Your reaction is normal. We cannot, nor we can't, nor we absoloutely not fathom (lots of negatives, but read on) our parents having sex. I think it's biologically built in: our parents "never do this!". We view our parents "outside" the sex subject. We just "don't go there". Parents, to us, are asexual. They are beings who provide nurturing, food, comfort, shelter, and education. They are beings which we respect. We don't see them as sexual beings; we can't even imagine our father having sex with our mother. It's just a taboo subject, both in thought and in spoken word. So if a parent brings forth the "sex" subject either by talking about it or, in you case, performing in close proximity, we rebel, because it's just not something we "accept" relating to parental behavior. Remember: we see parents as "asexual beings". Anything other than that upsets the apple cart.

[Caroline_In_The_City]

strawberry...

first, dayum ur cute :-)

second, my mum and dad still have never had that "talk" with me. they are both way to prudish to ever try. oo, i know they have sex, but their prudes to the end.

it doesnt matter how old i am, or how responsible, their still my folks, and whats right for them is more rght than whats right for me. that is something u live with as their kid. all the respect in the world will never change that.

i would have talked to her the next day and said "mum, i really thinmk i heard u having sex last night and it creeped me out". she probably would have been embarassed as hell and been more careful in the future.

sorry for buttin in!

caro

[strawberry8302]

Thanks, to: NakedAmbrosia, and Caroline In The City. You guys seem to be the only ones that understand my point of view. I felt kind of bad, because it seemed like everyone was ganging up on me. But reading your posts made me feel a whole lot better. Don't get me wrong, I really appreciate everyone's honest advice, but sometimes advice can be hurtful without meaning to be that way. Even though I may not have liked certain people's advice, I am glad that people actually took the time out of their schedules to give me their opinion on the situation. Thanks again, to everyone for their advice.

(Anway, on another note, thanx for saying i'm cute, Caroline!) :bigrin:

[WillowTree]

From what I understand, you are mostly upset about her contradicting herself. My mom was like that too, very avoiding of sex. She actually spoke down on it, as if it were nothing good and she hated it. Still does really. But, I have grown to consider why she is like this. My mother is an abuse survivor, which has affected her attitude about sex greatly. Even so, she still had sex while i was growing up. When I was supposed to be asleep in my bedroom, I would hear her and my dad get up and meddle around in the kitchen, which I eventually figured out was their "after sex ritual".

I personally feel that expecting your mom not to have sex in her own house is unfair. Like someone else said, how much more private can you get than your own bedroom? Personally, unless you are paying rent, I feel the "it's my house too" point is moot. I agree that she should respect your personal space, like your bedroom and bathroom, but the rest of the house is pretty much her personal space.

[crystal_child]

who's house is it? if it's her's... sorry, you don't have a point

[billy_campbell]

Perhaps your Mother's attitude toward sex has changed. Maybe she has gotten past that attitude most of up grew up with that says sex is only for married people who are trying to have a child. Maybe she finally got it and realizes, perhaps like you do, that it okay to have sex out of marriage and with who ever you want to and with even a member of the same sex as you.

That said I would imagine that it would be very stressful for you hearing it. Maybe you need to search deep inside and find out what it is that really bothers you so much.

Finding out about parents can be stressfull, I found out when I was 50 that Mom was married and divorced before she married my Dad. They were married for 60 years and that was first time I heard about that.

[canuckotter]

who's house is it? if it's her's... sorry, you don't have a point
Holy necropost, Batman! :eek:

[GalacticiaActual]

WWWWAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH...
19=19

[holle1199]

If you do not want to hear it then why not go somewhere else if it bothers you so much--it is your mother's house--you could always get a job and move out if you are so mature and a young adult--I have made my way since I was 16 and never tried to tell my mother how to run her life and she is 75 now and still going strong.
Sorry if this is not politically correct but you need to grow up.
Jim



[QUOTE=strawberry8302]First, I would like to thank everyone for their feedback. Now, I'm not being harsh, but I've carefully read your posts, and I do not agree with them. I am not a minor, I am a young adult. I have the mind of a 36 year old woman, so I am very mature for my age. All I am saying is that I feel like they should have took those private

[deletetacount123]

LOL this is a very old Thread from October 2005 (looks at date of last post)..... almost a year later it comes back to life.
I didn't know people read posts this far back. :)

BESIDES.... Strawberry is now living in an apartment and going to college so this post is useless anyway :) And Holle.... she is grown up.... read the dates :) This is a very very old post from 2005. This thread belongs in the graveyard.

Tasha

[Herbwoman39]

Wow! Talk about raising the dead! Get the holy water and stakes! Kill it quick!

:bigrin: