Family and friends are odd.....

[deletetacount123]

Does anyone think its weird when you try to do things with someone but they always seem so busy or "forget" and make other plans.

So naturally you give up trying.

THEN much later one day they tell you "Why do we never do anything together anymore?? You're always to busy"

and your like "ME???" lol

Oh well.

Tasha

[LoveLion]

haha, yeah I have one or two friends like that. It drives me nuts. One of the things that really bother me with some friendships is that they are so one sided. Like I am always making the plans, and I am always calling her, and I am always making all the effort to be friends, while she does nothing at all. And then when you say enough is enough, Im not making anymore effort and you can make the effort for once, you dont see each other for about a month, then she msg you saying "Why dont you ever call me anymore? Why dont we hang out anymore?" Its a pain.

[Herbwoman39]

Well, here's a perspective from the other side of the fence. I used to be one of "those" friends. I'd flake on calling, forget to email, etc. It's not that I didn't want to contact the person. It's just that I would feel terrible for flaking and think that the person I bailed on was so pissed that I was afraid to contact them. So I'd wait a few weeks and then contact them pretending like nothing happened because I was so embarrassed and had no idea how to fix it.

Sadly, I lost a good friend doing that. The final straw for her was when I waited until two weeks before we were going to move to Florida to tell her that we were moving. It just snowballed on me. I had every intention of telling her but somehow it never happened.

I have mostly learned my lesson from that. I still have difficulty making the effort to call people but I'm working on it.

It's not that I don't care. It just seems like 1/2 of the time my old friends from Atlanta have some tale of woe or another. I rarely get good news and it wears on me.

So that's my story from the other side of the fence. I hope that you have found this presentation enlightening and informative :)

[deletetacount123]

Ya.

I noticed tho Heather is doing a great job of ruining our 18 year friendship.
She claims shes busy but is she really THAT busy?? Seriously, even the busiest people still find time to say HI to friends. She works as a teacher and parttime as a home helper (someone who helps take care of people who are unable to care for themselfs) so its not like she has a big heavy duty job. and she has pently of time to text message her ex-boyfriend so ya, I know shes not too busy to TEXT.
Plus when she does replies "sorry, Ive been so busy..... will response to your other messages soon" never happens.

Then theres my sister who I try to plan things with but shes always forgetting and goes "maybe next week"... surprise, never happens lol

My friend Andrea still keeps in touch with me often so I know shes working on keeping our friendship alive to :-) (12 years for us!!)

I feel fusterated at times when Im unable to keep friends.... I don't know what Im doing wrong. Im trying EVERYTHING to keep the friendship going. The disinterest seems to be on thier end which is annoying lol

At least I have online friends :-)

Tasha

[Herbwoman39]

It may sound harsh, but I have an idea for you that might help. Break off ALL contact with Heather and your sister. No text, no visits, etc. Make yourself unavailable for a couple weeks. Let THEM come to you.

When they ask why you haven't been in touch, that's when you voice your concerns. That way they'll be listening and maybe they'll realize how easily they could lose your friendship.

[deletetacount123]

It may sound harsh, but I have an idea for you that might help. Break off ALL contact with Heather and your sister. No text, no visits, etc. Make yourself unavailable for a couple weeks. Let THEM come to you.

When they ask why you haven't been in touch, that's when you voice your concerns. That way they'll be listening and maybe they'll realize how easily they could lose your friendship.

Ya thats what Im thinking of doing.
Andrea is busy too but we sent each other messages daily on Facebook. We are actually talking about living in Niagara Falls, Ont. :) (if I did move back, I would want to move where I know someone personally)
She runs her own business soooooo :) and she knows how good I am with data stuff, filling, organzing... OMG.... I used to drive her nuts with me being so neat and organized lol

Ya, I never replied back to my sister's last "Im sorry, I forgot".... message and gonna just stop texting Heather till she has things to say.

At least 1 friend knows it takes 2 to keep a friendship going. :)

Tasha

[Herbwoman39]

Good for you sweetie! See? That "mean bone implant surgery" is starting to take affect :bigrin:

Sounds like that situation with Andrea would be a great way to go. Everyone who owns their own business can really use an organization wizard. Believe me, I know. If it wasn't for our younger son, the garage where we keep bottles and packing supplies would still be a fiasco.

[deletetacount123]

Good for you sweetie! See? That "mean bone implant surgery" is starting to take affect :bigrin:

*looks at her scar from the surgery* So what are you gonna do about that scar you left on me ?!?!?!?! lol

Sounds like that situation with Andrea would be a great way to go. Everyone who owns their own business can really use an organization wizard. Believe me, I know. If it wasn't for our younger son, the garage where we keep bottles and packing supplies would still be a fiasco.

lol ya, Andrea used to be amazed at how fast my organization skills were.
She didn't mind it... sometimes I think she liked it lol But there were moments she was like "ok, leave that alone...... sit... don't do anything!" hehe

Good thing your youngest son has good organization skills too lol must be a lot easier now to find things hehe

Tasha

[jedinudist]

I have and have had my share of those "friends". Once it has drug on like that for too long I usually just break it off and let it go. I understand people get busy, that's fine, I get busy too. But if it's always a one sided thing, I end it.

I'm not someone else's social planner. I'm not here to entertain them in a one sided friendship. When they finally do call to find out why I haven't been, I'm polite, pleasant, and honest. I tell them, I'm always the one that calls, plans, etc. That's not my job in life. And I don't let it start up again either. I go one for one for a long time. Every time they call me or plan something, I will do likewise, but then it becomes their turn, and I wait.

[deletetacount123]

I have and have had my share of those "friends". Once it has drug on like that for too long I usually just break it off and let it go. I understand people get busy, that's fine, I get busy too. But if it's always a one sided thing, I end it.

I'm not someone else's social planner. I'm not here to entertain them in a one sided friendship. When they finally do call to find out why I haven't been, I'm polite, pleasant, and honest. I tell them, I'm always the one that calls, plans, etc. That's not my job in life. And I don't let it start up again either. I go one for one for a long time. Every time they call me or plan something, I will do likewise, but then it becomes their turn, and I wait.

Ya! I agree! I know Heather is busy.... I get busy too but I ALWAYS find the time to say HI to my friends. No matter what.
Andrea is super busy too but shes always saying HI as well.
For Heather I think she thinks her friends will wait.... when she wants to talk to them she will.
She already has another friend (that I know as well) VERY PISSED OFF. and Heather doesn't even realize it so the other girl is like "Thats it... I give up, she has made false promises and doesn't care, if she expects me to be ready whenever she is, shes wrong....."
Which is VERY bad if you ask me.

False Promises is not good in friendships....

Tasha