I love the gf but crave variety

[Bicuriousity]

Damn I'm having a problem. I adore my current girlfriend and would never want to hurt her, but I get so damn horny when i see other girls or guys to that it's tough to think of being monogamous.

One other complication is she isn't bi and doesn't seem to be the type that would really want to know I'm bi although it has come up jokingly.

She is great to me in alot of ways and the sex is great and we have fun, but I'm wondering, will I ever be monogamous?

[Buck Naked]

Speaking from the standpoint of a married man whose wife is unaware of his desires, if I had it to do all over again I would tell her on the first date. You should seriously consider telling her before things go much farther. :2cents:

[LouiseBrookslover]

I echo him entirely. I could never get the guts to tell my ex wife when we were married....I was like you, I adored my wife, who was my best friend but I still craved the novelty, romance, and variety of bisexuality. Eventually I became so fearful of her catching something (even though I'm careful) that I really withdrew from her sexually and emotionally. It ended up destroying our marriage...who knows what might have happened if I had been honest. Maybe I would have ended up alone as I am now. But maybe not. I will tell you that being alone is more awful than you can imagine it, and that warm feeling of comfort you feel with her, when it is taken away, no amount of novelty will replace it.

I know a part of you will tell yourself this can go on forever, but it really can't.

[gh05t]

Speaking from experience:

It doesn't go away, not ever.
If she can't handle something like that about you , then you probably ain't right for each other. Honesty counts for everything.
Tell her if you can, the sooner the better,
but be careful.
If you aren't out and there's any chance of a nasty breakup,
you've just given her a loaded gun.

Good luck!

[Herbwoman39]

Monogamy is a choice. I choose to be monogamous every morning when I wake up. I make the conscious decision that I am only going to be with hubby until he is ready to share me with a woman of my choosing.

As for telling your girlfriend, if this is a serious relationship, you should tell her. A relationship that does not have a foundation of honesty will, in all probablility, fail in the end.

[onewhocares]

Well, I guess that I am not the best person to comment on your situation. I knew from the very begining that my husband craved men. But then again, it was surpressed for so many years. I always knew that there was something missing, and well, I blamed myself for not being the desired, attractive one, the one who never seemed to make her man want her. When in fact, it was he who wanted more. I guess what I am so poorly trying to get accrosss is that the only way to get what you want in life is to ask for it. I guess that is where I made my mistake not telling or he not telling me he wanted another man. When all finally came out, it was not me who was in need of change, but rather he who wanted more.

I know what it is like to want more, and have a spouse who can not give more of themselves. THAT is so hard to live with.

Maybe a man will come into your life, you will meet so casually, and he will make you feel so different. He will kiss you and make mention that you do interest him, and he you. Hope you are as lucky as I have been in meeting a man on this site. Let your joy in meeting a man spur you onto your journey in life. I look forward to hearing from you.

Belle