Very nervous....first timer

[Jimmy Splash]

Can some of you try and ease my nervousness please. I've never had a male experience other than kissing and wanking a kid off when I was younger.
I am currently single and have been fantasising about going with a man. I use Craigslist to post erotic requests and take pictures of myself in panties and with an erection and it really turns me on! Men reply but I lead them on (I know I shouldn't) and I never have the guts to meet them.
I posted recently and a pleasant chap has been saying "look, let's just suck and wank" but I'm so nervous. I think I'd like to go ahead with it.
But something is holding me back. I'm even thinking I won't get a hard on cos of the nerves.
Can somebody help me to get over this initial hurdle?
Thanks

[coyotedude]

Just a few thoughts...

It's absolutely normal to be nervous the first time you have sex with another man. I think most of us have felt anxious about our first time, even if many of us would never admit it. Once you take those first steps, however, the nervousness will melt away into the heat of man-on-man sex. You won't have an issue with a hard-on, trust me! :)

The only thing I'd caution you about is to be safe. Especially with Craigslist, you just don't know what you're getting in a sex partner. Many men will push you to have anal sex without a condom (bareback). Don't do it! It's just not worth it with someone you don't know. If you find a steady sex buddy who you can trust - and is willing to verify with STD testing - then bareback is a safer option.

If you want to try anal (giving or receiving), don't forget the lube! Again, there are men who say that going without lube or just using spit is fine. But I'm a firm believer in a well-lubed penis (wrapped in a condom, of course) when it comes to anal sex. Easier for the top, and definitely easier for the bottom.

Don't let someone push you into something you're not ready for. We men can be pushy when it comes to sex. But if your sex partner isn't willing to work with you as grow into man-on-man sex, then you might consider another partner.

Just my two cents. Take the free advice for what it's worth! Hahahahaha! But seriously, sex with a man is an incredible experience. I hope you get to enjoy it soon.

Coyote

[Shefford]

I am fairly new to this sucking my first cock at 59 so I can tell you if you really want to do it just go for it. That is what I did , I am married 40 years but had the urge to suck cock. I met a guy on Zoig and after a few weeks of email we met at a local adult club. I wound up sucking him off and swallowing the first time. It was like an out of body experience, I'm sucking his cock using techniques I've seen in porno and read in stories .As I'm sucking him I'm thinking I can't believe I'm sucking a cock all my life that is what gay guys did. But I'm telling you it is addicting All I think about is having a big cock in my mouth, I've had over 30 since November. So if this is what you want go for it but once you start you might not be able to stop. Let us know how you do !!

[cuttin2dachase]

You have good vibes about this "pleasant chap" of yours and it seems like he is serious and coaxing you toward a hookup rather than being pushy and impatient. There is nothing holding you back from meeting him except yourself. It is a huge step to take to meet a real bi or gay man for sex for the 1st time, but for most men with burning mm desires, it is well worth taking a calculated risk to make it happen. Most bi men I know (including myself) enjoyed it very much and definitely wanted to explore mm sex even further.

[elian]

Some very good advice here, hopefully you can find someone you trust and learn to enjoy your sexuality..

[xxxcjs]

Glad to know I'm not the only one having this problem , that's everyone for the advice.

[Jimmy Splash]

Thanks guys for the advice. I have since mailed him to ask if he just wants me to suck his member and maybe hook up again if things go well. Just waiting for a reply.
It's funny because even as I type things like "suck his member" I'm getting vibes in my own cock!! �

[whistle1]

I have only ever chatted online too. I am just too nervous to go through with anything. Perhaps I just like the IDEA of being with a guy more than actually being with one...

[sysper]

kinda feel that way too, but sometimes feel i should try it for real anyways. i would probably learn something. i wonder what fantasy i would cling too, if my gay fantasy was no longer a fantasy?
I have only ever chatted online too. I am just too nervous to go through with anything. Perhaps I just like the IDEA of being with a guy more than actually being with one...

[coyotedude]

Speaking from the male perspective... It is normal to be nervous by the thought of sex with a man. It's one thing to watch porn, chat online sexually, or watch live cams of men masturbating. The (pseudo) anonymity of the Internet makes us feel safe. But taking that next step to meet a man face to face for sex can be intimidating.

But it can be oh, so good. To kiss a man, to rub your naked body against his, to take him in your mouth, to feel him inside you... those are amazing and wonderful sensations.

Sex with a man is different from sex with a woman. And not just because of the plumbing, either. It just feels different; it meets different needs inside ourselves. Make no mistake: those needs are real. They are natural. They are nothing to be ashamed of. They are simply a part of who we are as bisexual men.

Sometimes we walk a hard road and have to make hard choices. It can be difficult to find a safe and sane sex partner. We have to negotiate relationships with wives and girlfriends who may not understand or accept our sexuality. We live in a world where all too often we face negative attitudes from both the straight and gay communities, from friends and family and loved ones.

But if you have the chance... take it!

Don't be stupid, of course; play safe. But play! You will be amazed at how quickly the nervousness melts away into lust and more. And when you feel your lover's orgasm and every nerve in your body explodes in pleasure, then you'll know. And you will want it again. And again.

Peace.

[Highzenborg]

I have only ever chatted online too. I am just too nervous to go through with anything. Perhaps I just like the IDEA of being with a guy more than actually being with one...

This is very much how I feel. Although recently the desire to have another guy's dick in my mouth is getting much stronger. Sometimes when I'm masterbating it is almost an uncontrollable urge. I think the only thing holding me back is that, typically after I have cum, I loose a lot of the urge for guy sex and I'm worried about feeling that way when I'm actually with another man.

[sysper]

the feelings i will have after i cum being naked with another guy will be quite interesting.......this is why being with the right guy is so important. maybe it's something i need to experiance.
This is very much how I feel. Although recently the desire to have another guy's dick in my mouth is getting much stronger. Sometimes when I'm masterbating it is almost an uncontrollable urge. I think the only thing holding me back is that, typically after I have cum, I loose a lot of the urge for guy sex and I'm worried about feeling that way when I'm actually with another man.

[Jimmy Splash]

He never turned up. Told me he was busy so bog off to him

[sysper]

unfortunately this has been my experiance. ur lucky at least he let u know he wasn't coming, they usually just stop responding for me. u never know though maybe ur guy will reply again & try to arrange something. doubtfull but possible........
He never turned up. Told me he was busy so bog off to him

[whistle1]

This is very much how I feel. Although recently the desire to have another guy's dick in my mouth is getting much stronger. Sometimes when I'm masterbating it is almost an uncontrollable urge. I think the only thing holding me back is that, typically after I have cum, I loose a lot of the urge for guy sex and I'm worried about feeling that way when I'm actually with another man.

I think you have described what happens to tons of guys; myself included. When you're horny and jerking off, all you think about is a cock in your mouth. Once you've cum, you completely lose all interest - and may even feel bad for ever having such thoughts.

What if you actually got the nerve to be with a man and finally suck a cock? It might be great or it might be horrible and leave you guilt-ridden for the rest of your life.

You have to know what type of person you are to know if you would ever want to go through with it. If I thought I was the type to have a bad encounter and say "Oh well", then I would certainly be more likely to act on my curiosity. I know I'm not that type though...

[Jimmy Splash]

Good call

[Fzmr9t]

kinda feel that way too, but sometimes feel i should try it for real anyways. i would probably learn something. i wonder what fantasy i would cling too, if my gay fantasy was no longer a fantasy?
It's very addicting! The 1st time I tried it, I just went for it and it felt li,e it was something I was meant to do. It felt soo natural

[Christopher South]

I can tell you that when I was first meeting a guy, I was nervous and expected to have that guilty feeling (you know, the one you get after jerking off to gay fantasies). That plus I had never been naked in front of anyone but my wife and always was apprehensive about it due to a physical condition I have. But once I did it, I felt liberated.

If you're that nervous, don't make the first meeting a sexual encounter (especially if it's off craigslist). Meet for coffee or at a park for a walk. Get a feel for the guy, discuss what you'll eventually want to do, and discuss boundaries. If you're comfortable with him, make a date to become sexual. If not, email later passing on meeting again.

[sysper]

sounds like a good idea, it's a big step for some guys. i guess it goes for girls too.
I can tell you that when I was first meeting a guy, I was nervous and expected to have that guilty feeling (you know, the one you get after jerking off to gay fantasies). That plus I had never been naked in front of anyone but my wife and always was apprehensive about it due to a physical condition I have. But once I did it, I felt liberated.

If you're that nervous, don't make the first meeting a sexual encounter (especially if it's off craigslist). Meet for coffee or at a park for a walk. Get a feel for the guy, discuss what you'll eventually want to do, and discuss boundaries. If you're comfortable with him, make a date to become sexual. If not, email later passing on meeting again.

[cuttin2dachase]

It is certainly a huge step for a curious but uncertain/timid man or woman, but you're never going to know if you don't get up the nerve to go for it ! You'll either love it or find that you can take it or leave it. I've never met a a newbie or curious/inexperienced man or woman who hated it.

[sysper]

i have actually spoken with a few people online who hated it. but i have never heard anyone regret trying. it would put me at ease at least.......

[plainguy]

I understand the nervousness, and I have yet to actually meet and have sex with a man , but I want to, just the looking and finding the right one seems to be the most dificult. I think once I try it it will be as many say addictive, frankly I really want to try sucking a cock.

[tallone62]

It's so good to hear that many bisexual men have the same feelings as me. That is the great thing about this opportunity to share. My mm sexual experience has been only as a top and sucking a couple cocks. I felt very apprehensive at first, but soon got comfortable. I had an opportunity to bottom for a man, my very first time with a man, and I declined....I just wasn't ready at that time.
But now, I feel this desire has built up to epic levels and am ready to experience having a man inside me. Following advice of first timers that I've spoken/chatted with, I bought (at first) a small butt plug, then a little larger dildo, then a full sized cock shaped dildo. I've been using them to "get my bum ready" to take a man inside. To me, bottoming for a man is much more than just having something up my ass. As I've found with my dildos, I can push something into myself. I want to have a man move inside me, care for how I feel and to "GO SLOW" at first. I think I'm physically going to need that. Giving my ass to a man to have pleasure with while enjoying it myself, seems to me to be what it is all about.
Finding that someone that will be respectful and patient seems to be the first step. If anyone has any ideas about how to find such a man, please post.......
Be safe and use plenty of lube!

[OlderBC1]

I have to agree with you, tallone62, on a few points. I just think since I've admitted I'm bi, but still love my wife, ie pussy too, then why not have both?! Life-like toys are fun...but it doesn't feel the same when fucking myself with a realistic 8". When wife fucks me with it, it feels so much better! So that automatically shows that we'd like it from a real, live cock. Just as a real, live pussy. Sexual positions, to me, are just that...positions. I can be either top or bottom or...hell, sideways, as long as it feels good! I just want to be made to feel so good! Sex is loving is caring. Period. You cannot avoid emotions where human contact is concerned. I always believed that sex brings people closer together. It's the best way to get closest to someone, in my mind. That's what makes me more of a free spirit than merely bisexual. One thing, anyway.

[Highzenborg]

Thanks for all the great posts on this thread. It's so reassuring that it's not just me that is wrestling with these issues.

I want cock so badly right now, but I'm finally starting to come to terms with the fact that, for me, it will never be more than a fantasy.

[sysper]

jimmy ru still around? anything u care to report? i'm not trying to medde but showing concern & support :)

[sysper]

i agree with ur opinion about sex so much. i'm trying to be that free spirit too & go beyond. u understand sex isn't just sex but also a connection. i really wish i could meet a guy with that mindset to be my 1st. heck i really wish i could meet a women with that mindset!
I have to agree with you, tallone62, on a few points. I just think since I've admitted I'm bi, but still love my wife, ie pussy too, then why not have both?! Life-like toys are fun...but it doesn't feel the same when fucking myself with a realistic 8". When wife fucks me with it, it feels so much better! So that automatically shows that we'd like it from a real, live cock. Just as a real, live pussy. Sexual positions, to me, are just that...positions. I can be either top or bottom or...hell, sideways, as long as it feels good! I just want to be made to feel so good! Sex is loving is caring. Period. You cannot avoid emotions where human contact is concerned. I always believed that sex brings people closer together. It's the best way to get closest to someone, in my mind. That's what makes me more of a free spirit than merely bisexual. One thing, anyway.

[cwatt1]

I experience periods where I look forward to sex with a man and periods where I do not. I had a few experiences a few years ago, but they were never very satisfactory. I.couldn't get hard or cum. So, for a while I didn't pursue it but found myself still curious. I met with a guy a couple of months ago whom I had played with a couple of years ago, and the same thing nappened. Goimg to try again Monday with a guy who seems very nice and sincere. We'll see what happens, but I still seem to have the desire. Do you think it is a matter of "practice" (I don't know if that is a good word)? The bottom line is that I am curious and have the desire, but my encounters thus far have all fizzled out.

[sysper]

that's 1 thing i'm afraid of. i have had this fantasy for so long & maybe i'm building my expectations too high so when i'm finally in bed with an actual guy i'll just say to myself that's all there is?
I experience periods where I look forward to sex with a man and periods where I do not. I had a few experiences a few years ago, but they were never very satisfactory. I.couldn't get hard or cum. So, for a while I didn't pursue it but found myself still curious. I met with a guy a couple of months ago whom I had played with a couple of years ago, and the same thing nappened. Goimg to try again Monday with a guy who seems very nice and sincere. We'll see what happens, but I still seem to have the desire. Do you think it is a matter of "practice" (I don't know if that is a good word)? The bottom line is that I am curious and have the desire, but my encounters thus far have all fizzled out.

[elmwood7]

Don't overthink it just enjoy it.

[69plus1]

All pretty good advice. I waited forever to make the move for man sex and as soon as that velvety smooth cock touched my lips and tongue I knew it was wonderful and natural.
Until you feel comfortable with your new found sexuality be very careful.Take your time, a good lover will understand and if he doesn't he may be the wrong one.
With time the fear will be replaced by excitement.
Be safe and enjoy.

[sysper]

very practical advise thank u!!!!
All pretty good advice. I waited forever to make the move for man sex and as soon as that velvety smooth cock touched my lips and tongue I knew it was wonderful and natural.
Until you feel comfortable with your new found sexuality be very careful.Take your time, a good lover will understand and if he doesn't he may be the wrong one.
With time the fear will be replaced by excitement.
Be safe and enjoy.

[sysper]

i will keep that in mind!
Don't overthink it just enjoy it.

[thinkimightry1]

I think what makes me nervous about the first time is someone finding out. Also I worry at times that who ever it is would say things in front of my friends after we hooked up. I'm getting closer all the time to trying it. I love to eat pussy...my favorite thing to do sexually. I love women that let me continue eating them after they get off...so sucking a cock...I think...would be even better. I would love the feeling of it getting hard in my mouth...and the sound of them getting off. I'm like most above...after I get off...my gay thoughts tend to drop off quite abit. So, I would have to suck them first...being with my first guy...I don't think I could make the first move.