How many of our vanilla friends are also bisexual?

[Visexual]

Hey Folks,
I know I can't be the only one who has wonderful friends who just might be bi too, but how in the world would we know. It's a shame that we can't just ask, isn't it? I can think of several good buddies that would be even better buddies if we both knew we shared this great persuasion! How many of you have felt the same way? Hey, maybe some of us can come out to each other here, huh?

So, anyone who thinks they know me, well..., let me know. I'm trustworthy and you know it! :) How about we give a few clues to help. Mine might be CCT, USPS, eroticstories, literotica, and amazon.

[fredtyg]

Probably the best and maybe safest approach to finding out if someone you know is bisexual is to let them know you're bisexual. Don't do it as part of hitting on him or her, just bring it out in passing or let it slip somehow. That way they won't feel put on the spot and can react in whatever way they feel comfortable.

[Realist]

There's many ways to bring up the subject without revealing yourself!

Here's one I used:

I had a friend, who was my 2nd wife's best friend's husband. (I had to re-read that to ensure I had it right!) For 6 years, we helped each other with carpentry jobs, rode motorcycles, and became great pals. He was fun to be with, we got along well, and we developed great rapport.

However, although I knew he loved sex with women, I was unsure he had any bisexual aspirations.

I had developed an interest in being intimate with him, but first, I had to devise a way to determine if he'd had any prior experience, or would be agreeable to explore with me.

So, I would look for an opportunity to bring up the subject, like responding to something on TV, or when a conversation came up about a person known to be gay, or bisexual. He seemed neutral to the subject, during a few attempts to get a response from him.

Then, one time, I bought an antique car that had some old magazines in it. A couple of them were about different sexual practices the world over. One of the first stories was about how men from one country, who often became sexual with each other, because of the lack of women there.

When my buddy showed up, we had a couple of drinks, then I went back to cleaning out the old car. Our inhibitions were somewhat softened, by then. (So, a little alcohol may help...but getting the person drunk is NOT the way to go!)

As I moved the stuff from the interior, I left the magazines laying on the workbench. My buddy gravitated toward them and began to scanning the articles and photos.

I saw him reading the article, that I mentioned above, and asked him what he thought about it?

He admitted to nearly succumbing to another boy's advances when he was a kid. Although, he resisted and nothing happened, he had since wondered what it would have been like if he had done something with the boy?

Still reading the article about the prevalence of bisexuality in that one country, he asked if I'd had any experience with other males?

I had known him long enough to feel I could trust him, so with my inhibitions sufficiently softened, I admitted that I'd had male lovers, before. If he'd said something negative about the article I'd agree with him, and keep my secret to myself. (We both had sensitive jobs and it would not have been good to have those secrets revealed!)

Then, he admitted he had more interest than he'd been letting on, as he didn't know how I'd take it!

To make a long story short, he and I then began a sexual relationship that lasted a little over 10 years! Although, it wasn't a romantic connection, it was one of the best FWB (friends with benefits situations), ever.

[Mickbi]

Great story Realist! I hope I can find a fun and sexual relationship like that with a friend one day :)

[Realist]

Just don't give up and don't settle for less than you want. Good luck.

[elian]

Where do you find these, "vanilla friends" and do they taste good when you lick them?

[Visexual]

Thanks, Realist, for sharing a really great story. I guess there are two 'couples' that my wife and I know that I'd love to discover the husband was bi. And the wives are friends of my wife and I flirt a lot with those wives so it could really develop into something very cool! But, mainly, it'd be so nice to be able to be completely open and honest with the guys, even if we never had sex. There's just something so wonderful about not having to watch what you say!

[elian]

If they are comfortable with who they are as people, and comfortable with their own sexuality, and you've known them for a long time then it's less likely they will be offended if you mention that you are bisexual .. ?

[olmizzou42]

Realist's story gives me an idea. Much like his friend, I have a friend of many years that I've wondered about and desired for a long time.
A retired art teacher, he collects erotica, frequently mentions that when he's home alone he's usually nude and he's home alone a lot as his wife babysits grandkids 40 miles away. His son-in-law is a film editor in the gay porn industry and gives him DVDs. He says he has only watched them out of curiosity and isn't aroused by them. However, I've noticed that they haven't been put away but are always right there by his computer.
So, next time the subject comes up and it usually does, I think I'll be safe in telling him that those DVDs would turn me on; that I'm aroused by any gender combination having sex as long as there's no force or injury involved and see how it goes from there.

[Country Guy]

I don't think any of mine are secretly bi.... dammit.
There is one friend that is wish was. He has all the qualities I'm looking for and I've known him for many years. A situation came up where I could tell him that I'm Bi. He had that "deer in the headlights" look. I think it took him by surprise. But he didn't run the other way. Much later I told him that I was crazy about him. He is still my friend and I talk to him often. Last time he was at my house I got a little tipsy. I made it pretty clear that he could have me whenever he wants. I have a hard time keeping my hands off him when we're together. I so much wish that he would put his arms around me.....

[friesbaconnekkid]

I just "accidentally" mentioned to one of my female friends I had sucked cock before. She widened her eyes, but didn't pursue it much, aside from asking when I had did that? I knew she is a real gossip, and it didn't take her long to spread the word among our common friends. I did find out that I do have a couple of other friends who have had bi experiences, and have exchanged blow jobs with a couple of the guys.

[scapegoat1987]

I would imagine that social media like Facebook would be a good way to drop a few hints as well. One wouldn't have to be blatant about it, but a few "Likes" here and there and maybe an ever-so-vague reference in a status update would probably get another bisexual person's attention. And you can control who sees particular status updates, which would make it even more secure. That person wouldn't know that they were the only one to see that particular status. But, in the end, I find that just being open and secure in your own bisexuality is the best policy. It's amazing what people feel comfortable confessing to you once you come out. :yikes2:

[NjbiGuy01]

I have a couple the wife and I are friends with. One night after a bunch of drinking and pot smoking, he casually joked about how he "used to swing with his ex wife in the hopes he could get rid of her..."...at first it was a joke, then I was thinking like, hmmm. After further chat I mentioned "having dabbled while working as a musician on cruise ships and in my youth". I got the sense the more we chatted, the more he was willing to too out there, but the gals came back into the room....I do often wonder what happens in the bedrooms of my neighborhood. There are a few people on SLS in my area, with pictures that make me wonder if I know them....

[DiamondDog]

Or you could you know, actually come out to somebody and just be totally out to everyone. Instead of just playing games and pretending that by playing games, pretending to joke about sex/porn, or testing the other person that the other person or people can't possibly know you're not heterosexual.