same sex attraction: triggers and fantasies

[tenni]

In an article presented "Messy Realities of Bisexuality" , two suggestions are made allegedly by bi men.

1/ Avoid anything that triggers same sex attraction

2/ Use same sex fantasies while having sex with your spouse if you need to

Do bi men on this site believe that you should avoid trggers or even that there are triggers making you want/ need sex with other men?

What are bimen's opinions about having same sex fantasies during sex with a woman?

[cliffml]

In an article presented "Messy Realities of Bisexuality" , two suggestions are made allegedly by bi men.

1/ Avoid anything that triggers same sex attraction

2/ Use same sex fantasies while having sex with your spouse if you need to

Do bi men on this site believe that you should avoid trggers or even that there are triggers making you want/ need sex with other men?

What are bimen's opinions about having same sex fantasies during sex with a woman?

!. why would you avoid any triggers, I love sex with men.
2. when i'm with a woman i'm only into her, when i'm with a man i'm only into him, who needs a fantasy when you're getting the real thing.

[StephenD]

That was the weirdest part in a weird article. Those suggestions sound comparable to the conversion therapy he alludes to. bullshit. when is suppression or denial ever a good idea?

[Paddarick69]

I strictly dream of doing goats when I'm with anyone of any gender

[Long Duck Dong]

That was the weirdest part in a weird article. Those suggestions sound comparable to the conversion therapy he alludes to. bullshit. when is suppression or denial ever a good idea?

the correct info is this

An article in the New York Times called "Living the Good Lie (http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/19/magazine/therapists-who-help-people-stay-in-the-closet.html?_r=2)" suggested that there may be a more nuanced approach. The article said that no therapy (http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/psychotherapy) was necessary other than to guide a client closer to self acceptance and identity (http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/identity) integration. An authentic self might be achieved by balancing two mutually exclusive needs, acknowledging rather than denying sexual feelings but choosing not to act on them. Those interviewed for the article recommended:
1. Admit conflicted feelings to any potential heterosexual partner.
2. Define the rules of the behavior in your relationship
3. Avoid anything that triggers same-sex attractions
4. If necessary, use homosexual fantasies (http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/fantasies) while having sex (http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/sex) with your spouse

the " living the good lie * article is aimed more at gay / same sex attracted males that want to retain their marriage / wives..... the issues and ethics of therapists telling people to *remain closeted * and the affect on partners in the marriage / relationship..... and it was written by a gay therapist....