what happened ? this use to be a friendly site

[biblkman]

I've noticed over the past year or so that there is an increasing number of " the glass is half full , negative , smart ass people posting on threads, and it always to seems to be the same people. I posted a thread, asked a question, must not have been clear on my description, I assumed people would know what I meant, obviously I was wrong. I got a lot of negative criticism and mocking responses. But its not just that, I've noticed when someone new posts a question that has been asked before they get a lot of flakq and are told to read through older posts, come on! Do we really expect someone to browse through the thousands of threads to find something similar to there issue. This used to be a positive place were people could come to understand there or someone else's sexuality without harsh criticism, being made fun of or being made to feel stupid. All these pretentious people just hurt or scare away people who may need this site for understanding or an outlet.....Cherokee Mountain Cat you are above all one of the most open minded, thoughtful, understanding, non judgmental caring and sincere person on this site....wish there were more like you. Well that's my rant, and don't worry I'm not going anywhere.

[biblkman]

Oops I mteant " the glass is half empty" let's see how much shit I get for that mess up lol

[dafydd]

It still is friendly! And hopefully welcoming!

That's why when members tell others to 'go look through past posts', I believe its perfectly acceptable to judge them as dickheads and chat about them behind their backs.

[tenni]

Well, I guess that it is a matter of perception. This is how I remember the good ol days around 2009-2010.

I remember being attacked when I first posted under this user name even though I had been a member since 2006. I remember a cliquish group controlling the forum as if it were their own personal social club when you first joined. I know of people who left the site because of these social club insiders making it seem like a closed shop. Sometimes the "hugs" came across as fake to me and all the pretend giving out of cookies as if we were children who may or may not be favoured (there must have been an inside joke but?). A lot of empty platitudes were shovelled out in what seemed like a standard reply with little substance but a fair amount of positive emotive statements. Frequently in 2009-2010, I recall at least one vocal female poster telling new posters that it had been discussed before and that they should look it up. Stop repeating issues that had been solved types of comments.

There was a lot of accusations of being a troll if a new posters with a view that didn't conform to this controlling group's opinion. Sometimes they were out to create problems and were banned. Or were they banned because someone turned them in as a troll? Dunno.

I like the diverse views rather than insistence on conformity to make it a "nice warm place". Although I admit that it can get uncomfortable if not depressing here at times.
I don't see anything wrong with being honest and seeing the glass as half empty myself. Polyanna philosophy gets too sacrine sweet for me. Genuine, honest, open support is good though.

I think that it is good if a bisexual welcomes a new bisexual poster. A bit stupid if a non bisexual acts as an official welcome wagon and then twenty others repeat the same "welcome". Generally, that is not overdone too often but it does seem pointless when it is done.

[void()]

I do not mind responding to questions asked before. However, the site is indexed and crawled by Google. It is a search engine, designed to find previous answers to questions now asked. It can become tedious to continually repeat the same response.

Unless of course, we resort to canned responses, copy and paste. That would be tedium for those asking. It would also not be very compassionate, welcoming. A paradox exists then, suggest using a search engine, offer no response, use canned responses, or face tedium.

Each has benefits and drawbacks which make it difficult to choose. The easiest is to suggest using a search engine. That is not intended to insult anyone or be an inconvenience, rather hopefully, a means to format better questions.

[goldenfinger]

Having been here since 2007, I see it as just the same, some newcomers post their first post to offend, others to seek answers to their questions on bisexuality. Of all the members here, only a few join in discussions.

[bigbadmax]

It still is friendly! And hopefully welcoming!

That's why when members tell others to 'go look through past posts', I believe its perfectly acceptable to judge them as dickheads and chat about them behind their backs.

Dai,

Surely a response like this debases your point of view and lowers you to the respondents of questionable demeanours level. A chair is a chair and it will never be a table, no matter how much you wish to change it.

One should be wary of wolves in sheeps clothing but you must also be careful not to be the joint being feasted upon.

[falcondfw]

Dai,

Surely a response like this debases your point of view and lowers you to the respondents of questionable demeanours level. A chair is a chair and it will never be a table, no matter how much you wish to change it.

One should be wary of wolves in sheeps clothing but you must also be careful not to be the joint being feasted upon.

I think he was joking, Max.

[falcondfw]

I've noticed over the past year or so that there is an increasing number of " the glass is half full , negative , smart ass people posting on threads, and it always to seems to be the same people. I posted a thread, asked a question, must not have been clear on my description, I assumed people would know what I meant, obviously I was wrong. I got a lot of negative criticism and mocking responses. But its not just that, I've noticed when someone new posts a question that has been asked before they get a lot of flakq and are told to read through older posts, come on! Do we really expect someone to browse through the thousands of threads to find something similar to there issue. This used to be a positive place were people could come to understand there or someone else's sexuality without harsh criticism, being made fun of or being made to feel stupid. All these pretentious people just hurt or scare away people who may need this site for understanding or an outlet.....Cherokee Mountain Cat you are above all one of the most open minded, thoughtful, understanding, non judgmental caring and sincere person on this site....wish there were more like you. Well that's my rant, and don't worry I'm not going anywhere.

BBM,
Hope you don't mind the abbreviation of your nic. I have seen some of what you describe and yes, it does seem to be mostly the same people doing it. But, that is their right. If they want to be a#$%*^&, they can. But most people will have nothing to do with them.
Drew could police these forums like a ninja day in and day out and get rid of those he deems "troublemakers", but that would kind of defeat the purpose of this site as an open discussion forum. And I bet if he did that, more people would leave due to "censorship" than the new people tenni mentions have left because of the rude posters.
Admittedly, I have been online a long time, but every discussion board I join seems to have it's fair share of trolls, a#$%$#@#, and idiots. It almost should be expected that there are a few in any discussion forum you join. Sad, but true.
And yes, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WROTE "glass half full" WHEN YOU MEANT "glass half empty"!!!!!! Feel better now? lol. (sorry. I couldn't resist).

[Long Duck Dong]

I tend to agree with falcon, that most forums have the same issues......but that is the nature of discussion groups..... lol

btw, the glass is whatever you need it to be, and to me, you may not have finished drinking it, filling it, emptying it out for washing, saving it for later... or seeing how many people will take offence to the glass for being being able to be filled up or emptied out....lol

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Uhmm, well Thanks, Hon. There are Many others here that are just as open minded as I am. Not everyone is going to be critical or judgemental. Just look a little harder, and see that there are several half full folks here as well.
And if the glass is half-empty...its probably because I've Made it that way..lol Depends on what all was in it ;)
Hugs
Silly Cat

[Lunatic1966]

Well, I totally get what biblkman states. I posted a question about 'masturbating while driving' and was come down on hard by a number of people about being careless while driving. bla bla bla bla bla........that was about 6 months ago and this is the first time I have posted since.....there were a number of people who came to my defense and I greatly appreciated that, made me feel welcomed but it still pisses me off to the point that I read posts then mumble to myself my opinion and then log out.just because I don't need that hassle of having someone not liking my opinion and taking it upon themselves to insist I am wrong and must agree with them...........yes there is always going to be the few ass cans that ruin it for everyone else..........my opinion only!!!make love, not war!!!

[njbiman]

On a bisexual site isn't "dickhead" actually a compliment? Since everyone here likes dick.

[slipnslide]

I believe it's the maturation of a site like this that you're noticing.

Over time, most things naturally divide up. The divide I see on bisexual.com is between those who come here for titillation, and those who want to discuss the more thought-provoking aspects of sexuality - perhaps those seeking support and reassurance is a third.

The more intense discussions are going to attract people who like to get in deep. They like to debate, explore, and try to understand. However, in topics like "who likes to masturbate when driving?" come up, those people don't want titillation so it doesn't appeal to them on that level, nor is it a deep topic requiring introspection. They just see someone threatening the safety of themselves, their families and their friends on the roads. They react - and usually with comments that are not unreasonable. The comments just upset the poster because it's not the reaction they wanted or anticipated.

Drew has posted some really great stuff lately that many of us have weighed in on. Those threads had lively debate about perspectives and ideas, but none of it was personally insulting I don't think. Given it was the site owner who posted them, I suspect that is the kind of discussion he enjoys and likes seeing on his site. I don't recall Drew posting any cum-themed threads.


YMMV

[æonpax]

I believe it's the maturation of a site like this that you're noticing.

Over time, most things naturally divide up. The divide I see on bisexual.com is between those who come here for titillation, and those who want to discuss the more thought-provoking aspects of sexuality - perhaps those seeking support and reassurance is a third.

The more intense discussions are going to attract people who like to get in deep. They like to debate, explore, and try to understand. However, in topics like "who likes to masturbate when driving?" come up, those people don't want titillation so it doesn't appeal to them on that level, nor is it a deep topic requiring introspection. They just see someone threatening the safety of themselves, their families and their friends on the roads. They react - and usually with comments that are not unreasonable. The comments just upset the poster because it's not the reaction they wanted or anticipated.

Drew has posted some really great stuff lately that many of us have weighed in on. Those threads had lively debate about perspectives and ideas, but none of it was personally insulting I don't think. Given it was the site owner who posted them, I suspect that is the kind of discussion he enjoys and likes seeing on his site. I don't recall Drew posting any cum-themed threads.

YMMV

I agree with you on this S'n'S. Also, I might add, sharp disagreements do not mean lack of respect. Of respect and friendliness, I'll go with the former.

[nutme]

Well, I totally get what biblkman states. I posted a question about 'masturbating while driving' and was come down on hard by a number of people about being careless while driving. bla bla bla bla bla........that was about 6 months ago and this is the first time I have posted since.....there were a number of people who came to my defense and I greatly appreciated that, made me feel welcomed but it still pisses me off to the point that I read posts then mumble to myself my opinion and then log out.just because I don't need that hassle of having someone not liking my opinion and taking it upon themselves to insist I am wrong and must agree with them...........yes there is always going to be the few ass cans that ruin it for everyone else..........my opinion only!!!make love, not war!!!

That's just so wrong on so many levels. Jerking off while driving? Oh boy.....now I've heard it all.

[dafydd]

[QUOTE=falcondfw;226142]I think he was joking, Max.[/QUOTE i was being supportively flippant. though i do think cold responses like "look it up b4 u post" r dickish things to say, and r rather self-appointed.i.e. they r not speaking on behalf of the site, tho it reads like they are.

[*pan*]

That's just so wrong on so many levels. Jerking off while driving? Oh boy.....now I've heard it all.
ever try getting a bj while driving a semi truck i have lol